


Felicity's Climb

by FreakingOutGirl



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), olicity - Fandom
Genre: Dig and Roy might have to stalk Felicity, F/M, Felicity and Malcolm might make a good team, I need Olicity love, and John is always a cutie pie and I want to hug him, and Merlyn might help a bit, and Olicity babies, and angsty too, and so he kind of saves Oliver, and then a lot of Team Arrow cute moments, and why she didn't say it back, because I can't take much more angst, because I love Barrowman, it's hopeful in the end, just to save Oliver, what she thought during his I love you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 02:44:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2756627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakingOutGirl/pseuds/FreakingOutGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver is gone to fight Ra's al Ghul and Felicity never told him how she really feels. After his defeat, could an unexpected visitor help her correct her mistakes and save Oliver or is this a partnership that could mean her demise? After 3x09. Previously a one shot, but I saw an interview of John Barrowman and it kind of clicked with the muse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Felicity's determination

 

* * *

She knew what he was going to say. It was clear in his eyes, in the way his mouth quirked a bit on the corners. His expression peaceful even when he was going to fight one of the most dangerous men out there.

_I love you_

He said, like it was as simple as breathing. There was no maybes, no buts, no ifs, nothing but those three words that resonated inside her mind and into her heart.

She felt her hand move, her fingers clench and unclench, like they had their own life, a life that was telling them to go and grab his bag, to pull him back against her, to grab him and never let him go.

The words were on her mouth, those three little ones, ready to be spilled. But they didn't. They were kept prisoner of her mouth, her lips sealed, keeping her from giving the last piece of her heart, already in so many shards.

And now, he was already turning around, his back tense under the strain of what he was going to do. His dark sweater a contrast against the lights of the foundry.

She wanted to yell his name, to run towards him, to make him understand the craziness of this all. But she didn't, she didn't do any of those things and her heart kept breaking and breaking.

Was this the last time she would see him? Was this the last chance she had to tell him how she really felt?

She felt her heart start to beat crazily, her lungs not expanding enough, and she realized she was having the beginning of a panic attack. Felicity tried to control her breathing, each breath calculated to measure Oliver's steps. She was calmer after that.

He climbed the stairs without turning around, while her eyes filled with tears. When the door closed after him, her knees finally buckled and she fell to the floor.

She had to believe he would survive. She had to believe he would come back to her. She had to believe she could remedy her mistake. The unsaid words. The ones she wanted to yell and scream.

The foundry was empty, the only other breathing being a small fern, its green leaves falling against the table.

And then, it was like waking from a dream.

Felicity jumped to her feet and started running. She had to make it. She had to get to him before he sped off in his bike. She had to catch him and make him promise he would survive. She had to see his face when she told him her feelings.  _She had to! She had to!_  She kept screaming in her mind like a child with a tantrum.

Felicity felt her ankle move in a painful way when she climbed the stairs in her heels, but in that moment nothing mattered more than Oliver.

She ran and ran, leaving Verdant's bar filled with bottles behind. It was empty and her steps echoed in the gigantic place.

When Felicity opened the back door, she ran outside, her eyes jumping around in search of his Ducati, of a shadow of him, the brown of his bag.

The parking lot was empty.

And Felicity felt the last piece of her heart disappear in its emptiness.

She hadn't told him.

She let him go without uttering those words.

She kept her walls up.

She couldn't surrender enough to tell him she had never felt anything like this before.

Why?

Was it because every person she told "I love you" disappeared on her? First her father, then Cooper? Was it because she was damaged and couldn't love someone back? Why didn't she say those words out loud? Why did she keep saying them only on her mind? Not even alone she would utter them. Not in front of the mirror, or whispered when Oliver was not looking.

Her fists started beating against the concrete floor. All semblance of control disappearing with the last shred of his being. Would he come back to her? Would he?  _Would he?_

He would not die. Not after promising her not to. He kept his promises to her.  _He always did…_

Her tears were falling copiously on the floor, the blood of her knuckles mixing with the salty water and making her fingers burn.

She heard a door open behind her, but she didn't have the energy to look up and it closed again, muffling someone's running steps. A few moments later the door opened again and this time, different steps approached. She felt someone kneel beside her and envelope her frame in bulky arms.

"Felicity…" Diggle whispered, while she stood rigid against his side.

"I didn't tell him, John…" she whispered.

"What?"

"I… I love him…" she breathed, like she had spent a long time under water and was now having the first gulp of oxygen, barely a wisp of sound leaving her lips and then she looked up, into her older brother's eyes. "I love him!" she said, this time louder. "I love Oliver!" her voice got stronger with each repetition. "I love him like I never loved anyone!"

And then…

"But I didn't tell him…"

"Felicity, he will come back to you and then you can tell him yourself." Diggle said with a fond smile.

Felicity smiled back. She had said those words out loud and her heart felt warmer after that. She loved him so much and now it was like she couldn't wait for him to be back, so she could tell him. There was no doubt in her mind. He would be back! She was stupid back there, fearing, crouching in her own mind. Their love deserved to be fought for and she was not going to let Oliver do the fight by himself.

_When he returns_ , Felicity promised to herself,  _it would be a tag-team fight!_

* * *

 

 


	2. Felicity's Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity receives a visitor that might just give her the best news she could receive, even if he is the man she most hates now.

Felicity entered her dark and empty house without flickering on the lights. She had a headache approaching. She could feel it beating against her temples and behind her eyes. She blamed it on work.

She let her bag slip from her fingers and kicked her heels away, too tired to do anything else.

The last few weeks were hell. She tried to do the best she could, but she was failing miserably. Defeat, sadness, grief, were the ruling feelings in her mind, at all time, and she was starting to break.

Oh, she could never stop helping on the foundry. Felicity was still in their ears every night, making sure, checking, rechecking and then checking again to prevent any mistake. She was obsessed with their safety. But she was not there as their sister, as their teammate, as their friend. John and Roy were suffering too, but she couldn't console them.

She knew what  _he_  would have wanted. She knew what  _he_  would say if they gave up on their fight to save the city. Just because  _he_ was gone…  _ **Just**_ … Felicity wanted to laugh or cry at the word, because there was no  _just_  when connected with Oliver, he was too much, too soon, too late, but never  _just…_

She could remember with plain clarity when Nyssa walked into the foundry, her eyes dark and her lips in a thin line.

"Oliver Queen is dead." She said, like she would say  _there's no milk_ , or  _it's your time to clean the bathroom_. No inflexion, no guilt, no relieve, just plain facts.

_Oliver Queen was dead._

Felicity remembered walking slowly towards her and then the burning feeling in her hand left by the slap. She knew Nyssa was able of diving her slow motion, but not doing it told her that maybe the assassin wasn't feeling as guiltless as she portrayed.

But Felicity couldn't find it in her to forgive her. She didn't blame her per se, but she blamed someone. The man Thea called her father was on the forefront of her mind, her fury and hate directed towards Malcolm Merlyn. He, that made his daughter kill someone so he wouldn't be found guilty of it. He disgusted her.

Felicity didn't know if it was Diggle's training finally settling in or if the person moved to make its presence known, but Felicity knew immediately that she was not alone in her living room. There was a shadow of someone lurking beside her window.

The person moved and walked towards her.

She gasped when she recognized the man, an inhuman scream released from her throat, while she ran towards him, ready to punch, kick, crush, anything that could help the hollowness in her chest.

Malcolm Merlyn merely smirked, his arms moving too fast and holding her back to his chest. She tried to headbutt him, but he turned her around and kicked her against the couch.

"I'm not here to hurt you, Miss Smoak, but if you don't stop trying to hurt me, I can't be held responsible for your safety…" Merlyn stated and Felicity saw red, her chest moving quickly, with adrenaline pumping in her veins.

"You bastard!" she yelled, grabbing the lamp beside her couch and rising from her slumped position.

Merlyn rose his hands, in a peaceful gesture, but Felicity couldn't stop the rage that was enveloping her.

"He is dead because of you!" she spited and Merlyn's nonchalance about it made her madder.

But she wouldn't attack him, at least, not so soon. She was reckless going like that against a man trained by the League, but she had let the vault of her emotions, so clearly guarded and closed, open and in a second fury ruled over it all. She squeezed the lamp in her hand, trying to remember where was her phone. Still inside her bag, by the door… could she make it?

"Miss Smoak, I'm faster than you…" he said, like he had read her mind and Felicity shivered.

"What do you want with me? Why are you here? Do you want to destroy another life?" she spit, the venom in her words merely making Malcolm smile.

"Your love is remarkable, Miss. Smoak, I could never imagine someone like Oliver could awake such feelings in someone like you…" Malcolm stated, his index finger moving over his lower lip in a contemplative gesture.

Felicity remained quiet, his words feeling too much like punches for her to be able to say anything else for now.

"But I'm here not to destroy lives… I'm here to save one… or more, it depends on the perspective…" Merlyn said and without Felicity saying anything he sat in her couch and she jumped to get away from him and closer to the window, lamp still in her hand.

"Don't make me laugh, you are a cold blooded killer!" Felicity accused and Merlyn bowed his head, agreeing with her.

"True, but I value my life above all and I'm still on the run from the League… Oliver's…  _demise_ … didn't help me at all…" he replied softly, and then, the higher half of his body moved forward, his elbows resting on his knees, assessing Felicity with an almost predatory look. "I'm here to give you some news about Oliver…" he said and Felicity swallowed.

"Do you know where his body is?" she couldn't believe she was having this conversation with the man guilty of Oliver's death, but then, her life was pretty unbelievable by now. Could she stand here, without trying to hurt Malcolm, because he might know where Oliver's body was?

"That's what you want me to say? That Oliver Queen is dead?" he asked and he saw Felicity step back, like the words were a physical entity that just kicked her on the stomach. He smirked again, envisioning her reaction to his next words. "Because he isn't…"

Felicity blinked repeatedly, sure she had heard him wrong, the lamp slipped from her sweaty fingers and crashing on the floor, glass jumping everywhere. She felt blood run down her legs from the shards, but she couldn't worry about that.

For more than two days she held hope that he was alive, yelling at Roy when he uttered the words about Oliver not coming back, pushing Diggle away when he tried to make her understand and then… breaking when Nyssa appeared. And here he was, Malcolm Merlyn, finally telling her that what she had only dreamed about was real… and she couldn't believe him… it was cruel and cold, and she couldn't understand why he was doing this to her…

"You're worse than I thought… Why are you doing this? Are you this cruel?" Felicity whispered, too cold and too numb for tears or screams to leave her.

"I'm not lying Miss Smoak… I saw the fight and I saw Ra's al Ghul stab him and kick him from a mountain…" Felicity hugged herself, her knees trembling. She didn't know how it happened, but her overactive imagination immediately conjured images of snow and blood mixing. "I saw that he was strong, stronger than I could give him credit for. And even The Demon said so… I saw my opportunity and I took it… I saved Oliver from the mountain and brought him to a safe place…" Malcolm said and Felicity looked up.

"Why?"

"Because I want to defeat The Demon and I can't do it alone…" Merlyn replied, like it was all business and not human lives on display.

"You saved Oliver so you two could kill Ra's al Ghul?" Felicity chocked and Merlyn nodded.

"See, I don't want Oliver to die… He is a warrior, like me, and I know he will accept my proposition when he is able of fighting again…"

Felicity looked at the man wearing a pristine dark suit, his face only illuminated by the street's lamp's light coming from her window. He was waiting for her, but she couldn't make her mind work fast enough. Nyssa had said he was dead and she was sure Ra's was a man that could never leave with doubts about an enemy's fate. And here was Malcolm Merlyn telling her that she could have Oliver again, that she could do and say what she was too afraid before.

"How do I know you're not lying?" she asked and Merlyn shrugged his shoulders.

"You don't, Miss Smoak, but that's the beauty of a partnership, you have to trust…" he smiled at that.

That man smiled too much in Felicity's opinion when you think about what he does in his spare time. And the word partnership made her think of happier times when green leather was a common thing in her life. She saw him turn around, and walk towards her front door. And then, he stopped suddenly and took something from his jacket. A piece of paper that he put over her table.

"If you accept this, you can tell no one. Mr. Diggle, Mr. Harper and Miss Lance must be kept in the dark, the League has eyes everywhere and they always keep fighters under surveillance. You, they don't think too much about… And that is what is going to be their demise… Just like with someone currently in Lian Yu, or am I wrong?" Merlyn said, before opening the door and walking out. She was sure he didn't use that way to enter her house.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Felicity flew towards the table, almost breaking her head when she felt her feet trip on her rug.

On one side of the paper was an address in a black, careful, handwriting.

On the other was a picture.

She gasped and finally the tears run down her cheeks.

It was a picture of Oliver.

Alive.

 


	3. Felicity's decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity makes her decision regarding Malcolm's preposition.

Felicity felt her knees buckle. Her hands moved over Oliver’s supine image, connected to a bunch of machines that were probably keeping him alive.

And then her logical side kicked in.

What if it was a manipulation? Or if he was dead and she was smiling over his corpse?

This was not a Harry Potter photo where the people moved around.

But then, he didn’t look dead. He was pale, sure, but it was not deathly pale. And, unless Merlyn took the photo immediately after finding him, if he did find him, he wouldn’t be in this state after all these weeks.

Felicity felt sick at thinking about the state of his corpse, but she breathed deeply and tried to create a plan in her mind.

She could GPS the address and use a satellite to pinpoint it’s location and see what it looked like. That part was easy. But if she was really going with this, then Merlyn was right. She couldn’t tell anyone. The more people knew, the easier it would get out and the League could hear of it. But then, could she lie to John and Roy? Could she see them suffering while she carried the secret of Oliver’s survival? What would that make of her? Merlyn’s partner? She shivered just at the thought… But… and her eyes fell to the picture again… Oliver’s life depended on that lie…

Apologizing to John and Roy in her mind, Felicity got ready to start her farce. She took a pill to her headache and started planning her next moves. She didn’t know if it was the knowledge of Oliver’s survival or if it was the finally doing something that felt right that made her smile. No matter what, she grabbed her things and walked out of her door once again. She wanted to use the computers on the foundry, the ones that could give her all the power she needed.

Hoping Roy and Diggle were no longer there, she stopped her car behind Verdant and quickly walked towards the lair’s entrance. Silence welcomed and she sighed. If her boys were there, they would not be this quiet.

Felicity sat in front of her computers, typing the address Malcolm gave her and observing the image the satellite showed. It was near the forest, with a river close to it, in a short distance from some snowy mountains. Felicity wondered if those were the same when Oliver fought Ra’s al Ghul. There were no buildings close, no kind of neighbors to notice people’s in and out and it suited their objective perfectly.

Felicity felt her hand rise and touch the screen, like she could almost feel Oliver’s skin next to hers. She shook her head, focusing once again.

There was only one road to get to the house, but Felicity was sure Malcolm had a plan in case that path was obstructed. He appeared to be a man well prepared to face the near future and end in the winning side.

Now, she only had to contact him and something told her his number was not on the list. She nibbled on her lower lip while hacking Thea’s phone records. If she was in contact with her father she would probably have an unknown number in her list. Finding it was easy and Felicity wondered if he hadn’t left a contact on purpose to test her. If it was, she was disappointed at his own expectations of her.

She heard the phone ring twice until someone answered.

“Miss Smoak…” Merlyn’s voice echoed from the other side and Felicity rolled her eyes at him, so he had her number, the noisy bastard.

“I’m in.” she said, without preambles.

“Good. I knew it would be worth it. By the way, should I improve my phone’s security?”

“Not against me, I’m the best.” Felicity replied coldly and Merlyn chuckled infuriating her even more. “When can I see him?” she asked and there was silence on the other side.

“What do you think about tonight?” Merlyn asked and Felicity looked at the clock to see 00:00 flashing at her.

“Perfect.” She said. “I will meet you there.”

However, before driving to the secret house, Felicity returned home, left a note over her bed explaining what was going on, in case something happened to her and John searched her house. She was walking blind on this thing, but at least she would leave something behind to explain why her body could suddenly appear on the river.

When she reached the dark house, Felicity felt trepidation rise in her stomach. For the last few hours she had run on the hope Oliver was alive, but now, when she might be just a few steps away from him, her cold logical mind was starting to win control again, telling her all the ways this could go wrong and making her doubt her own believes.

 _But it’s Oliver_ … she thought, and it was enough to let her open the car door, walk on the frozen weeds and knock on the door.

The door opened under her knuckles and Malcolm Merlyn, still using his suit, gestured for her to enter. Felicity couldn’t stop herself from thinking about Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf. She hoped her story had a better ending than the original one.

The house was small and dark, making Felicity trip on things her eyes couldn’t see. She followed Merlyn through a corridor, until he opened the last door on the left for her. Felicity looked between him and the door and taking a deep breath, she entered the room.

Felicity gasped when she saw the occupant of the room.

He had his eyes closed and some cuts on his face, but the big red spot of blood could be seen in the bandages around his abdomen. It was a big cut, a deep one and Felicity felt her tunnel vision focus on that spot.

“Ra’s al Ghul impaled him with a sword.” Merlyn said and Felicity looked at him.

“How?” she gasped and he looked at her, surprised.

“How what?”

“How did he survive? It’s obvious his lungs were affected, and probably his ribs… and you said he fall from a mountain…” Felicity trailed off, walking slowly towards the prostrate figure of Oliver. She kneeled beside the bed and her fingers travelled to his chest, where she could feel the slow beatings of his heart. She looked around and noticed the machines she had seen on the picture. There was a heart monitor, an oxygen mask currently attached to his face, a CPR machine and an IV that was connected with his wrist.

“The League has many secrets, some of them are about how to save yourself from certain death… there are some techniques, some substances that can bring you from the brick of death… if it hadn’t already grabbed you and taken your life away…” Merlyn said, while Felicity grabbed Oliver’s hand and squeezed it. His fingers were cold, signal of bad circulation, probably caused by the blood loss, and she rubbed them, kissing his bruised knuckles.

“That’s how you survived after Oliver arrowed both of you?” Felicity asked, without taking her eyes from Oliver.

“Yes.” Merlyn replied succinctly. It was clear whatever he did to save himself and Oliver was not something he would share with her.

“And what do you want from me? Why tell me now?” Felicity questioned, finally lifting her eyes to look at the man observing her and her fallen love.

“Oliver can be… a difficult man… I was able of keeping my life because I knew how to use my cards…” he explained and Felicity scoffed at him.

“You used Oliver’s love for his sister, your daughter! I wouldn’t call it a card…” she replied and Merlyn shrugged his shoulders.

“I do what I have to do… Survival, in this world, is no easy feat. It’s no game of hide and seek, Miss Smoak. While you are behind your computers, people prowl the city, people that killed my wife, that destroyed my family! And those shall receive their punishment, it’s only fair.” Merlyn explained, opening his arms to show it was easy like that. “But, Miss Smoak, like you said, I used my daughter, and now I’m using you…”

“So, are you going to point a gun at my head so Oliver can make everything you say?” Felicity asked with more bravado than she had. Was it why he wanted her here? Did she just make the most stupid mistake of her life, by giving her enemy his best weapon to make Oliver do as he wishes?

“You wound me, Miss Smoak. All I want is Oliver to listen to me. And he will do it much easier if you are with him when he wakes up, if you are with him to remember him why he can’t spend his life hiding on the shadows… I want to stop Oliver from attacking me, when he can barely sit by himself and stop him from destroying any kind of hope we both have to survive Ra’s al Ghul…” Merlyn turned his back on Felicity, his left hand on the doorknob.

“I’m going to let you two alone for a few moments. It will be a few days until Oliver is stabilized enough to wake up…” he said, before opening the door and disappearing behind it.

Felicity closed her eyes and touched Oliver’s hand, still inside hers, with her forehead. She sighed deeply. Talks with Merlyn were exhausting, she was trying to always be one step ahead, to never let him see just how frail she was feeling and now, finally, she was alone.

“I’m sorry, Oliver…” she whispered next to his ear. She didn’t know if Merlyn was recording any of this, but she couldn’t care less. He already knew she loved Oliver. “I’m sorry I didn’t say a lot of things to you, I’m sorry I let you without telling you how I feel. It wouldn’t change anything, I know, you would still go, but you would know… I was scared I could never tell you… but now I have another chance… You just have to hang on and fight once again. You’re a fighter, Oliver Queen, don’t lose on me now, okay? I’m waiting for you on this side. You have to let tell you, okay? You can’t leave me hanging like this!” Felicity begged him, her tears now running wild through her cheeks. She didn’t try to clean them, her hands too occupied with warming Oliver’s, trying to give him a sign, a light, for him to follow in the darkness.

She hoped she had light enough for the both of them.


	4. Felicity's lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity lies to her boys to keep Oliver safe and wrestles with it.

 

* * *

For the next two weeks, Felicity felt like a traitor to her own team. She noticed John and Roy's worried looks at her demeanor. She tried to keep a low profile. It wouldn't do any good if she started singing every time she thought of Oliver. And she was sure her boys were now thinking she was falling into some kind of depression. She noticed them hugging her more than usual, helping with her bag, giving her hot beverages… and she was feeling sorry for worrying them like that. But Merlyn was right, the more people knew about Oliver the more he would be at risk.

He had improved considerably, his heart rate and blood pressure normalizing every day. She could almost recite every level they were at during the last two weeks. She dreamed with the machines beeping and the IV dripping into his bloodstream. However, other dreams accompanied the more peaceful ones. She still woke up screaming and sweating almost every night, dreaming of a mountain scene where Oliver was kicked from a cliff, now that she knew what really happened. And every time she woke up, she would grab Oliver's picture, that Malcolm had given her that first time, and would look at it, convincing herself that it was not a dream, that Oliver was really alive and back to her.

* * *

The first slip of her story happened one night at the foundry. She was sitting in her usual place, flanked by Diggle and Roy, who were looking accusingly at a black leathered Laurel. She had her arms crossed in front her chest and was looking at the men with challenge in her eyes. Felicity understood that they had found her during their patrols and brought her to the foundry in search of explanations. The problem was Laurel's unexpected coming was delaying Felicity's plan to meet with Merlyn in the house. He had an alternate schedule, so he could confuse someone that might be following her and had provided fifty different ways of moving around town to evade any pursuers.

When Felicity's phone ringed solely once, but the letter M appeared in her screen quickly, but long enough to Diggle and Roy to see it, Felicity snatched it away, just in case it kept ringing. Felicity swore to herself, grabbed her phone, jacket and bag and jumped from her chair.

"I have to go. Work stuff!" she said, running towards the stairs and leaving two baffled men and a confused woman behind.

"Work?" Roy asked. "At this hour of the night?"

Diggle was observing his friend close the metal door, a crease between his brows. Felicity was acting odd during the last few weeks. He had noticed it the first time last week, after joining some of the points in his head. She seemed perkier, even if her eyes were always downcast, her clothes were starting to get more colorful, like they used to, she always had her phone hidden when before she would have it always next to her on the table and now, she just left when they were trying to decide what to do with Laurel's death wish.

"Is she alright?" Laurel asked pointing towards the door that Felicity exited through.

"I don't know…" Diggle replied.

"It's still soon, of course she is not alright… They loved each other!" Roy said heatedly and Laurel nodded her head in accordance.

However, Diggle couldn't believe that. He knew her better than Roy and there was something going on that he couldn't pinpoint. However, he decided to respect her privacy for now. If something aroused his suspicion once again, telling him that she might be in danger, then he would act another way.

* * *

When Felicity arrived at the house, Merlyn opened the door swiftly and ushered her inside.

"There's a problem…" he said, walking in front of her. Felicity always made sure of that and apparently Merlyn thought it was funny enough to amuse her with that.

"What?" Felicity asked. She knew something must have happened, they never used the phone to communicate. Merlyn even got a different number to contact her in case of emergency, and apparently there was one now.

"Oliver started running a fever… And Thea just called, wanting to meet… I can't let him alone in case something happens. You need to stay here, Miss Smoak, unless your night was being more interesting that acting as a nurse…" Merlyn stabbed at her lateness and Felicity remembered herself once again why she was not punching this man on the face.

"What I do in my life is no concern of yours. The only reason my team is not here pointing guns and a bow at you is because I value Oliver's life." She replied coldly, entering the room and closing the door behind her. She heard Merlyn's footsteps distance from the door and she started her vigil over Oliver. For the next hours she put cold rags over his forehead, sponge bathed his torso with cold water, increased the IV in case of dehydration, cleaned his injuries with a mysterious substance given by Merlyn that she had smelled more than once trying to discover its ingredients and stood by his side. She knew she was alone in the house and she could have used that time to snoop around, but leaving Oliver behind alone didn't sit well with her, especially when his state was like this. And there she was, just recently giving herself pep talks about his evolution… How naïve of her… Just because he was no longer bleeding from his wounds, he still had inner damages, things like infections could still hurt in a way no one could help him. Felicity wondered if Merlyn would take Oliver to a hospital if his state was bad enough. Could it do more harm than good? She just hoped she didn't have to find out…

* * *

When the sun rose, Felicity felt something move against her face. She jumped in her chair, looking around, lost about her whereabouts. And then everything came crashing down. And the movement didn't stop. Felicity looked down and saw an index finger and a middle finger moving against the white sheets. Her eyes traveled over the rest of the arm, crossed his collarbone, observed his lips and then settled on his eyes.

They were open and glassy.

"Oliver…" Felicity whispered, kneeling right beside his head. "Can you hear me?"

He nodded his head slowly, smiled her private smile and then closed his eyes once again, leaving her afraid. Her hand jumped to his chest, where she could feel his lungs moving and his heart beating. Stronger! Healthier! He was still healing, but he had woke up for the first time!

Looking around, Felicity noticed she had spent the night sitting beside Oliver's bed. Did Malcolm return and found her like that? Did he leave again or was he waiting for her to wake up? She shivered imagining being asleep in the same house with that man. But she had been so tired… the last few weeks were taking a toll on her, between her work with Palmer, her work on the foundry, revising some of the calculations and the tests for the ATOM suit and helping Oliver, she was starting to run on low fuel.

"You just have to hang on a little bit…" she said to herself, patting herself mentally on the back.

Rising and stretching, Felicity looked one last time to Oliver, before opening the door of his room. Now that she was sure his fever disappeared she felt more at peace leaving him. However, in the middle of the hallway, Malcolm was expecting her with a vial that he injected on Oliver every day.

"I have to go…" Felicity said. "The fever disappeared and… he is fine now…" Felicity said, hoping Merlyn hadn't been listening behind the door. She wanted to keep Oliver's awakening to herself, to be one step ahead on the game.

When Felicity closed her car door and looked at her watch she realized how late she was. She didn't have time to go home and change clothes. She just hoped Ray didn't notice that she was wearing the same dress of yesterday.

However, when she arrived at work, Ray was the last of her concerns. Diggle was waiting for her outside of her office and her boss decided that commenting on her dress in that moment was the right thing to do. Felicity scoffed at him and gestured at Diggle to enter.

"I was worried about you…" he said, in a way of start the conversation. "I thought I should respect your privacy, but this morning I decided to pass through your house… and I found it empty, I thought you were at work already… but you weren't…" Dig said.

"Are you keeping tabs on me?" Felicity asked, hating herself for using that cold tone, but grasping at her mind to give her a good enough excuse.

"No, but I'm worried… Since Oliver…" Diggle started, but Felicity held her hand up.

"Don't say another word. I made myself clear when I said I didn't want to talk about Oliver after Nyssa left…" Felicity replied. John was looking at her with pity and worry and Felicity had to grasp her glass table to physically restrain herself from telling him everything. Dig was the one that always was there for her, that created the team with her and Oliver, they were the corners of a triangle: the Arrow, the Soldier and the Hacker. And now, when she could give him one of the best news he could receive she had to keep her mouth shut.

"I'm sorry, John, but… Sometimes I need to be alone… I go to the beach or I walk on the park… I didn't want to worry you even more…" Felicity stated, her lies pilling like physical objects, she wondered when her glass windows would explode with them, no longer able of keeping them inside.

John walked around the table, touched her cheek and kissed the crown of her head.

"Just take care of you, please. None of us want you to destroy yourself, especially not Oliver…" Diggle whispered and turning around, he walked out of her office.

Felicity closed her eyes, feeling her tears threatening to fall and breathed deeply. She had to keep going. It was worth it in the end. Oliver's live was worth it.

She just hoped Diggle would understand in the end, why she lied to him, of all people.

 


	5. Felicity's layers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dig and Roy follow Felicity and what they find is more than they could ever imagine in their wildest dreams.

 

* * *

When Roy arrived at the foundry that night, he found Diggle sitting at Felicity's table, typing on her computers.

"She will flip if she sees you there…" Roy said, stopping behind his friend to see what he was doing. "Are you searching Felicity's history browser?" the younger man asked, lost at what made Diggle snoop in Felicity's work.

"There's something wrong with her, I don't know what it is… But she didn't sleep at home last night, and she said she was walking… Who walks an entire night? In this city, where in every corner there's a serial killer or a robber or a vigilante for that matter? No, she is smarter than that…" Diggle replied, reading the lists of things she researched.

Roy stepped back, not sure if he wanted to get involved with that. He respected Felicity's privacy, but he knew Diggle knew her better than him…  _Could he be right? Could their friend be in some kind of trouble? But then, she would tell them, right? Unless she didn't want to drop another thing on their shoulders… She was selfless enough…_

And Roy stepped forward once again, giving his silent support.

Diggle was reading through the addresses when they heard the door's locker click. In a second he closed the history search and grabbed his gun, pretending he had been cleaning it for the last past minutes.

"Hey, guys…" Felicity said, smiling softly at them and walking towards her computers. Diggle thought she might find odd that they were already on, but she said nothing, probably thinking it was a gentle gesture from them.

Roy was purposely keeping his eyes from her, grabbing his clothes, just in case his features were not fully schooled.

Felicity guided them through the streets, unknowing the plan being created in Diggle's mind or how it would affect them.

John decided not to act at first. He wanted to give Felicity another opportunity to tell him the truth.

John had sat with her, one night, at the Foundry and asked her if she needed help with something, if there was anything wrong, anything that might be worrying her...

And she said no...

He knew he was being nosy, if Felicity needed help she would come to him, right? And he had discussed that with Roy, the boy rising that same question. And he agreed with him, Felicity was too selfless. Even if she was having problems she wouldn't ask for help, not now, that they were working double to keep the city safe, with Roy still trying to understand part of what really meant to be a vigilante, training with Diggle every day, trying to rise his awareness and reduce his penchant for the acrobatics that might cost him precious moments.

* * *

While Felicity was away, during the next few days, Diggle was able of finding a single search that couldn't match with any of theirs missions. She had searched a location, in the middle of nowhere, in a date that Diggle could match to the change in her behavior. Maybe she needed a secluded place to be, he wondered at first, but then, according to Felicity she liked to walk… things didn't add up…

And John made his choice.

* * *

John and Roy left after Felicity on purpose, giving her time to get home and finally driving to her townhouse. They had waited on a street close to her house, from where they could see her entrance, for more than thirty minutes, just in case she had decided to go shopping for groceries. When she didn't appear, Diggle looked at Roy, asking him silently if he was ready to do that. Roy nodded with a low grump and Diggle pulled out his GPS, where he had written the address he found on Felicity's computer.

They drove for some time, leaving the city, with its light and houses, behind, entering the wilder part of their hometown. The forest was growing in front of them and the road was turning trickier.

Diggle stopped suddenly behind a tree and Roy looked at him, surprised.

"There's a security system there…" Diggle pointed towards the trees in front of them.

"How the hell did you know that?" Roy asked and Diggle took an object from his pocket.

"This is a toy from ARGUS, it can detect any electronic device in a mile radius. We have to go on foot from now on…" Diggle said, opening his door and closing it silently.

"What if there are more cameras?" Roy asked and Diggle pointed towards the device once again. "Yes, but how can we enter there? There must be cameras always between here and the house…" Roy replied and Diggle pulled up a map and opened it over the car's hood.

"We are here…" he pointed to a place. "And there's a river here… We need to get the closest we can and then, we can use the river… I don't believe they have that part protected... Who would be crazy enough to cross a river…" Diggle chuckled darkly and Roy sighed.

"What the hell is going on, Dig? Cameras? Hidden houses? What the hell is Felicity doing, man?" Roy asked and Diggle rubbed his eyes.

"I have no idea, but I'm afraid of finding out…" he confessed, starting to walk towards the river.

* * *

"Felicity, I'm fine…" Oliver sighed, when Felicity made sure to check his bandages as soon as she got there. She had cleaned the skin around the wounds, checking for any signal of infection, but apparently, Malcolm's tricks were working well enough. She wondered if that's why the League called him the Magician or if it was purely a pun with his name. Something told her the League didn't have that great humor about name's choices…

"I'm more worried about the outside world…" Oliver confessed and Felicity sat beside his bed, noticing his weakness when trying to sit up higher.

"I hate lying to John and Roy…" Felicity replied, her hand held between one of Oliver's.

During the few days from his first awakening, Oliver's evolution increased exponentially and Felicity couldn't hide it from Malcolm anymore. The man was sure of following Oliver's health like his favorite pet's and Felicity wondered if to him that was all they were.

Oliver had recently dropped the IV, tasting some portions of soup slowly. He had rolled his eyes the first time Felicity tried to mouth feed him, but she was having none of his antics and hold the spoon in front of his lips until he opened them.

He still couldn't rise from the bed, the tissues' damages were still raw and Felicity could see what inactivity was doing to him, so she had researched some rehabilitation exercises he could do while on bed rest. He had now weights for his arms and a carefully drawn schedule with isometric exercises for his lower limbs, especially his quadriceps. Felicity was still forbidding him from any trunk exercise.

They had talked a lot, Felicity always keeping him update about what was going on beyond this walls. However, until now, they had kept away from two conversations. One: what Merlyn propositioned to Oliver and second: Oliver's last words to her. Felicity was waiting for the right time for both conversations, hopefully not at the same time…

She could still remember the feeling of hearing her name falling from his lips for the first time after he woke up. She had laughed and cried and made a huge mess of herself to what Oliver smiled blissfully, like he was finally in peace.

"And how is Thea?" Oliver asked and Felicity looked at him.

"She is starting to get suspicious…" Felicity said. At the beginning, they had no idea what to tell her when the news about Oliver's death arrived, so they lied, telling her he was on a trip… Well, Dig lied, Felicity couldn't look the girl in the eyes. "At first we decided to tell you went on a trip and then make you disappear, like a tourist kidnapped or on a ski trip that went wrong… We were supposed to keep lying for a month, but then it got harder to tell the truth… and now you are alive and I don't know what to do…"

Felicity and Roy had kept a special eye on the girl, making sure she was staying on the right track. At first, they had thought strange that Malcolm hadn't contacted her more, but after finding out about Oliver, Felicity realized he had been occupied, keeping Oliver from dyeing. Having his daughter hovering too much wouldn't help his secretive plans at all…

"And she knows Sara died, Laurel told us they met at the cemetery on Christmas, but Laurel still doesn't know that it was Thea who killed Sara and everything is so messed up, I can't wrap my head around all this…" Felicity sighed. She was tired of keeping all those pretenses. Lying to Thea about Oliver's death, telling Laurel Oliver sacrificed himself when they couldn't find the killer on time, lying to Captain Lance about Sara, lying to John and Roy about Oliver's survival. It was starting to take a toll on her psyche.

And Thea was a smart girl, she knew there was something wrong… It would be a matter of time until she forced Felicity or Diggle with her questions and then, the news about a missing Oliver would surround them and it would turn into a whirlwind.

And what if Laurel found out about Thea before they could explain what really happened? Felicity hoped Malcolm wouldn't show the video to anyone else and Felicity made sure to erase it from Oliver's phone, but still…

They were walking on thin ice and suddenly all of it could break apart…

"It's time to tell Thea…" Oliver said and Felicity's eyes widen.

"Everything?"

"Everything… No more secrets… As soon as I can get out from this place, I want to meet with her in a safe place and tell her everything… Show her the video, tell her what Merlyn did… How can I expect her to trust me if all I do is keep lying to her…" Oliver said and Felicity sighed.

They were silent for a few moments, both of them trying to organize their thoughts.

"And how is your work?" Oliver asked, clearly trying to change the subject and Felicity saw a strange shadow on his eyes.

"Fine… I'm still helping Ray with the suit… but he is not evolving as quickly as he wanted to…" Felicity had told him about the ATOM suit, not wanting any secret between them. She was foremost his partner and she respected that. Secrets had done too much harm to all of them and if Felicity wanted to be honest about her feelings, she couldn't start lying about other things that might make Oliver doubt her later.

Oliver huffed at that and Felicity smiled softly. He always had that expression whenever he asked about Ray and she was starting to draw some conclusions. Maybe those last words he shared with her in the foundry meant a change of mind… She was betting on that, because when her mouth opened again, she was ready to pour it all out.

"Oliver…" Felicity said softly, her heart beating faster than normal. She moved her hand inside his bigger one and he looked at her. "Hum… when you left to... hum fight…" she had trouble thinking about the time after that last moment and her voice was choking on her throat. "When you said that second thing…?" Felicity wondered and she saw Oliver's eyes move nervously. "I didn't say anything, I just stood there… I was afraid, because every time I said that…" Felicity's voice was stronger now, when the room's door opened suddenly and Merlyn appeared on the threshold.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we have visitors…" he said and from behind his body, Felicity heard the voices of Diggle and Roy.

* * *

"Roy… we were busted…" Diggle said, a shiver running over his spine. His clothes were wet and he was feeling colder than he could remember and the sound of Roy's teeth shattering beside him didn't really warmed him either.

"Why do you say that?" Roy asked and Diggle pointed towards a trail in front of them.

"Because there's someone waiting for us…" Diggle replied. "And, at least we know it's the right place, Felicity's car is right there…"

And then his eyes made out the figure of the man in front of him, his eyes widening and his arm shooting to stop Roy.

"Good evening, gentlemen… You didn't have to go to such trouble… You could just have knocked on the door…" Merlyn said and Roy's mouth widened.

"What did you do with Felicity?" Roy yelled and Diggle grabbed his arm, keeping him in place.

"Miss Smoak is perfectly fine, just like during the other times we have met…" he said and Diggle knew the man was playing with their emotions.

_What the hell was Felicity doing? She hated this man, she blamed him for Oliver's death…. He was the only person Diggle could see Felicity really hurting._

"She is probably playing doctor right now…" Merlyn stated and Diggle had to jump in front of Roy to manhandle him. He could feel the fury in the younger man's shivering limbs, but he had to remain calm. Who knows what else was lurking on the dark…

"You don't talk like that about her!" Roy yelled.

"Tell us where is Felicity!" Diggle demanded, his voice low and cold.

"You can follow me, I promise I don't have hounds ready to bit your legs off…" and he turned around, just like that, leaving Roy and Diggle to look at each other before following him.

From everything they could come up with, Merlyn would never have crossed their minds, and some of their ideas were pretty crazy and very un-Felicity like. But then, Malcolm Merlyn and Felicity Smoak in the same place at the same time without bloodshed was actually a very impossible thing in their minds as well.

Merlyn opened the house's door and without waiting for them, walked towards the end of the hallway.

The two men followed him and stopped when he did, watching him open one of the door and announce the presence of visitors.

"What the hell is going on?" Roy asked.

"Felicity? Diggle called.

And then, both of them approached the door, peaking inside and what they saw made both of them step back like they had seen a ghost.

And apparently, they did, because Oliver Queen was smiling at them.

 


	6. Felicity's Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roy and Diggle finally learn the truth about Oliver.

"Holy shit!" Roy whispered, and Felicity saw the man reach behind him for an nonexistent arrow.

Diggle was looking at them with hard eyes, assessing the situation, but Felicity could see the shock behind his irises. He had an awed expression for a few seconds and then he controlled himself and a flash of disappointment filled his eyes. Felicity recoiled when she saw that and Diggle realizing her noticing it, sighed.

"What is going on?" he asked, looking at Felicity.

"Merlyn saved Oliver and three weeks later he told me. I didn't tell you anything because I had to protect Oliver. I'm sorry for what I did, but I would have done that again if it meant keeping him safe…" Felicity said quickly, her eyes glued to Diggle's. The words poured out of her, like their were confined by an already failing lid.

"You didn't trust us enough?" Roy asked and Felicity quickly looked at him, seeing his pained expression. He had a protective stance and she felt her heart break, because, for the first time, Roy was looking at her with less than complete trust since he joined Team Arrow.

"It's not that, Roy, of course not…" she said rising up, with one arm extended in front of her, like she was reaching him. "I trust you with my life, but…"

"I made Miss Smoak promise me that she wouldn't tell anything. You, Mr. Diggle, as a soldier can understand, right?" Malcolm said and Roy jumped like he had forgotten the man was still there.

"The less people know about a mission the lesser the possibilities of the info get out." Diggle said in a flat tone.

Felicity felt her eyes prick at the men's demeanor. It was like they were looking at a strange. Diggle was assessing the situation and Roy's eyes were carefully avoiding hers.

"I understand why you did what you did, Felicity… but we were worried about you…" Diggle said and then his eyes fell over Malcolm. "Maybe we should have this conversation in another place…" Diggle said and Felicity sighed.

At least, they wanted to talk. Well, Dig wanted, she just hoped Roy was ready to listen as well…

She looked back at Oliver, their interrupted conversation weighting on her mind.

"I will be here for the conceivable future, we will finish this later!" he said and there was no hesitation on his voice.

Felicity smiled and kissed his forehead. She turned to Diggle and Roy.

"I will be waiting in the foundry if you want to talk…" she said softly, giving them a way out. Maybe it was too soon or maybe it was the right time, but they had the freedom to choose. And then, she walked out of the room and out of the house, without Diggle or Roy turning back.

Diggle approached Oliver, clasped his shoulder and smiled at his friend.

"You frightened us, man…" he said in a low voice, still unsure of what he was seeing. Maybe it was all a dream and he would wake up with Sara's cries.

"Me too…" Oliver confessed and Diggle chuckled.

Roy stopped on Oliver's other side.

"Don't do that again…" Roy begged and Oliver saw the younger man's eyes fill with tears. Roy cleaned them quickly, trying to erase their presence.

"I won't." he promised and then he looked at both his partners. "Don't be tough on her. All she did was to keep me safe… She was hurting for not telling you, I could see the toll it was having on her… You are her closest friends, her family, her brothers… She wanted to confide in you, but she couldn't…" Oliver begged and Roy and John sighed. They knew, but it still hurt.

However, they trusted that after their conversation with Felicity the air would be clean once again. They knew their bond was stronger than anything.

However, there was another thing weighting on their minds and Diggle and Roy looked at Malcolm with worried expressions. They turned to Oliver and seeing his confident demeanor, they relaxed just the slightest bit. After a few minutes of a stare contest with Merlyn, they walked out of the door, even if regretfully.

"You knew as soon as they got into a 5 mile radius from here…" Oliver commented and Malcolm smirked.

"Make it seven…"

"Then why did you let them? I thought you wanted to keep this a secret…" Oliver said.

"This is still a secret, but the most worrisome part is over. If something happens I can take you out of here without endangering your life…" Malcolm explained.

"Is this a game to you? Test Felicity in her loyalty to a man she hates, test me to see how far I can go before I kill you myself?" Oliver asked.

"Not a game, but you're correct in your assumptions. I need to trust Miss Smoak, we will be a team in the future and if I can't trust she has my back I won't be able to give it 100%..."

"She will only have your back while she absolutely has to, you know that right? She is too good to work with someone like you for long…" Oliver said with pride in his words.

"Oh, I know that… But I will make myself scarce as soon as I get my freedom…" Merlyn replied with a smirk, before leaving the room and Oliver behind.

Oliver rubbed his eyes. It was not only Felicity wrestling continually with her choices. Being under Malcolm's protection made Oliver be always on high alert, his self-preservation always on. If, before his fight, someone told him he would be considering keeping a partnership with Merlyn against Ra's al Ghul he would call them insane. Now, when faced with the perspective he thought twice. He hated the man, he had killed Sara, a woman he loved, even if it was his sister pulling the arrows, he was behind mass murders, including Merlyn's own son, his best friend, and the death of his father and his five years in hell. His mere presence made a dark feeling bloom in Oliver's chest, like the killer he once was sometimes rose his ugly head.

Oliver sighed, evoking pictures of Felicity inside his mind, his latest coping mechanism. He wanted to be better, to deserve her, to keep remembering himself there was something more in his life. Oliver knew he had to talk with his team, discuss their future, and more important, he had to finish that conversation with Felicity. He had to hear what she wanted to say.

He closed his eyes, and let his mind float, his breathing decreased and he started his meditation time.

* * *

When Diggle and Roy arrived at the foundry, Felicity's car was already parked in the parking lot. They opened the door and walked down the stairs, noticing her sitting at her computers, her fingers playing a rhythm in her table. She turned when she heard them and they saw her breathe deeply, like getting ready for a dive on the ocean.

Diggle stopped in front of her, grabbed an extra chair and sat, while Roy sat on the table, his feet dangling on the air.

"Tell us everything from the beginning…" Diggle asked and Felicity sighed again.

"It started when Merlyn appeared in my house…"

"He appeared in your house?" Roy screeched and Felicity smiled softly.

"I actually tried to push him through a window or punch him, I was not sure about the outcome…" she said and both men snorted, even if softly. "He told me Oliver was alive after creeping me out… At first, I thought he was just being cruel messing with my mind… He said he saved him on the mountain, that Oliver fought harder than he thought possible and that he wanted to defeat Ra's with Oliver's help… He left me a picture of Oliver unconscious and an address… I was supposed to work as a peacemaker and an incentive… I didn't know what to do… The first time I went there, I even let a note explaining everything to you guys, in case he killed me…" Felicity noticed Roy's fists clenching and Diggle's eyes darkening with suppressed fury. "But I had to keep it a secret… Oliver's state was too fragile, he was connected to all these kinds of machines and Merlyn was giving him some mojo stuff for his recovery… And I said yes… I lied to you, I've been lying to you for weeks, but then, when I saw Oliver's milestones my conscience would shut up for a moment, until I saw you looking all worried at me and sad about Oliver and I would feel like the lowest scum and…"

"Stop it, right now!" Diggle ordered, rising up. "Stop deprecating yourself! You are none of that! You did what you had to do to save Oliver… And we know…" he looked at Roy. "… that you wouldn't lie to us if you had another choice…"

"But we are a team and I broke your trust…" Felicity replied. Seriously, why was she digging her own grave? She didn't know, but every self-hating thought she had during the last few weeks was making an appearance. It was like she took a lid somehow and everything was pouring out.

"We are a team and you did everything you could to save a team mate!" Diggle said. He closed the distance between them and grabbed her hand, feeling her fragile bones under his huge fingers and noticing, not for the first time, was more fragile and, at the same time, how much stronger than them, she was.

"It doesn't make you a bad person. You had to make a hard choice and you did the best you could with what you had… and now, thanks to you, Oliver is alive…" Roy said with a smile, realizing how his previous disappointment was a reaction more from shock than really disappointment at her. He had to start thinking beyond his own feelings, looking at the bigger picture. Felicity did that, at her own costs, if the black shadows under her eyes and her lost of weight was any indication, and Roy, that one hour ago wanted to scream at her, now, just wanted to cuddle her in his arms and protect her from the world.

"I was so afraid… sometimes I was relieved that you didn't know…" Felicity confessed and both of them rose their eyebrows in surprise. "He had a fever and I wasn't sure he could fight it, what if it was an infection? What if it was too late? In those dark hours, I was relieved you didn't know, because I didn't want you to watch him die again…" she whispered and before Felicity knew, two pair of arms were engulfing her.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" Felicity sobbed.

Every dark feeling, every fear, every anxiety, the guilt, the pain, the nightmares, it was like she was seeing them in fast forward, making her sob harder against the men. They looked at each other, scared at her emotional state, but they let her exorcise her own demons, clinging to them. She was finally letting herself feel and let go of her emotions for the first time since Malcolm appeared in her house.

When Felicity controlled herself, Roy kissed her cheek and Diggle hugged her.

"Better?" John asked and Felicity nodded.

"Geez, I'm such a mess…" she complained, cleaning her running mascara.

"Don't worry, you are still beautiful." Roy said and Felicity smiled thankfully at him.

They let the calm fall on the foundry. And then, Team Arrow was on once again.

"Now, tell us Merlyn's plans for Oliver…" Diggle asked.

Felicity nodded and started her description.

"He wants to help Oliver recover, his health, but his fighting as well, he wants Oliver to reach the next level, to be a perfect warrior… He wants to train him, to teach him Ra's methods, to be a team mate. Apparently, Merlyn wants to fight Ra's with Oliver's help and kill him, ending their blood debts… I don't know how he thinks he can convince Ra's al Ghul to fight against two warriors, but apparently he thinks he can…" Felicity explained.

"And about Thea, what is Oliver thinking of doing?" Roy asked.

"Oliver wants to tell her everything, that she killed Sara, that he is the Arrow…" Felicity replied and Diggle rubbed his temples.

"Is he sure about where her loyalties fall?" Dig asked and Roy opened his mouth to reply loudly.

"I think Sara will be a weighting element and Oliver's sacrifice as well, but in the end, she is still a wild card…" Felicity said. "I know what you think, Roy, but we have to remember she trained with Merlyn, who knows how brainwashed she is…"

"That's why Oliver wants to meet her when he is better and tell her everything…" Felicity explained. "Assess the situation and plan according to it…"

Roy sighed and looked at Dig and Felicity.

"Okay, we do as you say. How worse can it get, right?"

Felicity just hoped Roy hadn't jinxed it.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Dig and Roy are not too OCC, I wanted to show their disappointment at finding out Felicity lied to them, but then, after realizing just how bad it was for her, they would realize if faced with the same choice they would have done the same thing. Especially Roy, that I imagine seeing Felicity as an older sister, the role model, the mother he doesn't has, makes it even harder to find out...


	7. Felicity's confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity finally tells Oliver what her real feelings are.

 

* * *

"What are you doing?" Laurel asked when she found Diggle and Roy disassembling the salmon ladder. She looked at Felicity in search of an explanation.

Felicity, by her part, had no idea to say. She looked at Dig and Roy, both of them holding the iron bars and she felt a pang of sadness crush her. In a moment they weren't dismounting it to take to the secret space they were assembling for Oliver, they were doing it because it was too painful to look at it and her bottom lip trembled.

Laurel saw that with alarm and approached Felicity, touching her softly on the back. She looked at the guys in search of help, but they were dumbstruck with Felicity's reaction.

"I'm so sorry, I understand… Gosh, I just messed up… It's better if I go now…" Laurel said quickly, backing away like a bat from hell.

When she closed the door, Felicity calmed herself, cleaned her cheeks and breathed deeply.

"It was just a moment, guys, keep working!" she said bossily and they rolled their eyes.

"Well, I don't see you carrying anything, blondie!" Roy replied and Felicity huffed.

"Hey, I'm the one that cleaned Oliver's wounds every day, I make him eat healthy stuff and I started walking with him around the house!" Felicity counted, a huge smile on her face.

It had been two weeks since Dig and Roy found out about Oliver. And he was now walking around the house like it was nothing, racing outside through the woods. Merlyn's weird substance that he insisted on putting on Oliver's wounds was working wonders, he could breathe almost normally, he almost didn't feel pain and his healing process was something Felicity called miraculous when she remembered the first time she saw the wounds. His scars were barely there, diminishing like magic overnight… Felicity eyed the substance with envious looks, imagining how good it would be to have an unending supply of it on the foundry.

"And we all know it's because you like to touch his abs!" Roy accused merrily. Since knowing the truth the team had felt happier and lighter than they ever felt since Sara's death. There was something about that small flicker of hope that gave them such joy they couldn't stop teasing each other.

"Well, I won't disagree with you!" Felicity said with sass and Roy's mouth widened, expecting a blush or another kind of comeback.

"She got you there, kid…" Diggle laughed, putting everything together inside boxes and carrying it towards their new van.

When they arrived at the secret compound, they found Oliver doing push-ups outside, the timid sun shining over his back. Felicity paled when she saw his injuries under the clear sky, it was something seeing it inside the sheltered house and another unmasked under the sun, but she made herself walk towards him.

"Hey, Rocky…" she called and Oliver smiled at her, his grin widening when he saw the guys behind her carrying his stuff from the foundry. Now he could start pumping his body.

"Where is he?" Roy asked. He never mentioned Merlyn's name, like it was some kind of Voldemort monster.

"Not here!" Oliver replied, happily and Felicity realized why he was so happy when they arrived.

Oliver rose to his feet and kissed Felicity's cheek softly, grabbing a shirt and pulling it over his head.

"We need to talk…" he whispered and she felt her stomach do somersaults.

She smiled at him, while Roy and Diggle discussed the better place to put the salmon-ladder.

"Hey, what if it rains? Doesn't this house have a granary or something?" Roy asked, looking around in search of a place high enough.

"Behind those trees there's a barn. Why don't you start unpacking while Felicity and I check that out?" Oliver suggested.

"We can go with you, that way we can…" Roy started saying, but Diggle elbowed him, not so subtly, for him to shut up. "I mean, sure, you go there and we stay here… for a  _long_  time…"

Diggle shook his head at Roy's lack of delicacy. Felicity blushed at what he was implying and Oliver was torn between amusement and exasperation.

Oliver grabbed Felicity's hands and pulled her behind him. Diggle winked at her and Felicity rolled her eyes, while Roy showed her thumbs up. She felt like in one of those brotherhood movies where the male friends cheered when their other male friend got the girl. And apparently, she was the male… awkward…

From the house to the barn there was a relatively small walk that was taken under a calm silence.

When Oliver kicked the door open, Felicity peaked inside, ready to bolt if she saw just a sign of a spider. But the place was incredibly neat to her own surprise.

"I bet Merlyn kept this ready for you…" Felicity commented when they entered the place, looking around.

The barn was big, with high ceilings that could hold the salmon ladder and create a space where Oliver could train his fights.

Felicity sat on the floor, not worrying about her old jeans in the slightest. Oliver looked at her easiness and sat beside her, his back against the barn's wall.

"Can I talk first?" Felicity asked and Oliver looked at her, surprised. He nodded, still a bit unsure and Felicity took a deep breath.

"Okay… so… here is the deal…" she said and then, looking at his eyes, focusing all her being in his blue irises, she finally accepted what her heart was healing at her to do. "I love you, Oliver Queen, the Arrow, the Hood, even if he was kind of creepy, the CEO, the brother, the son, the friend, the douchebag that you sometimes can be. I love all parts of you. You can't peal each layer and choose what to love and what not to… And trying to do that would only diminish my feelings for you and the complexity of your character… I promised myself, after you left, that I would tell you how I felt, and I've been waiting for the right time, but guess what, it's never the right time! It's never the right time for us to be together, it's never the right time to be in a relationship while fighting crime, it's never the right time while fighting against your own demons, it's never the right time while you are seeing the man you love fight against a fever or trying to recover from being impaled! Well, guess what? Fuck the right time!" she yelled and Oliver backed away a little, surprised at her outburst. Felicity noticed his reaction and chuckling self-consciously, she scratched the back of her head. "Sorry about that, bottled up emotions are not always easy to control…"

Oliver bit his lower lip.

"Are you laughing at me?" Felicity asked, when she saw his eyes dance with amusement.

"No…" he replied, chuckling at the same time.

"You are!" Felicity accused, punching his lightly on the biceps.

"I'm sorry… But, you're remarkable, Felicity Smoak…" Oliver whispered and Felicity smiled at him. "You're probably the only person I know that would start a yelled rant after making one of my dreams come true…" he said and Felicity's mouth rounded in an "o".

"Dream?" she asked softly and Oliver nodded.

Oliver touched her cheeks and closed the distance between their faces, gluing their foreheads together. Their eyes were looking at each other's, no distraction or layer between their blues irises.

"But…" Felicity sighed and Oliver smiled sadly at her.

"Only a temporary but…" Oliver said and she perked at it.

"While we can't get Ra's…" she said and Oliver nodded.

"I want to be the man you deserve, I want to be the man that takes you on dates that don't end up in explosions and in medical bays. I want to be able to walk hand in hand with you on the street without fearing an arrow will be shot through your heart… I want to present you to my sister with no lies surrounding your place in my life…" Oliver stated and Felicity closed her eyes dreamily.

"So, the first thing we are going to do as soon as we can defeat Ra's is going on a second date!" Oliver says happily and Felicity's brows scrunch.

"No!"

"What?" Oliver is shocked at her response.

"We are not going on a second date that might end up with someone chasing us through Starling, we are not going to dress in beautiful clothes that will get destroyed and, by the way, I'm still mourning my lost shoes! We are staying inside my house, in comfy clothes, eating mint chocolate cookie ice-cream!" Felicity replied in a no-nonsense tone.

Oliver merely nodded and blinked repeatedly at her.

Felicity clapped her hands excitedly.

"It's a date!" she said and Oliver finally recovered and before she could realize what was happening, he kissed her on the lips.

"I thought we weren't in a relationship until defeating Ra's…" Felicity said, her blushing cheeks complementing her merry eyes.

"Let's call it foreplay…" Oliver said and then cringed. "You are definitely rubbing on me!" he accused and Felicity smiled, her body cuddling against Oliver's front.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" she asked and felt Oliver shook his head.

"I don't feel pain anymore… Whatever it was Merlyn gave me closed the wounds and helped the tissues recover quicker than anyone could ever believe…" Oliver said and Felicity turned around to look at his chest, remembering her own thoughts on the matter.

Oliver pulled his shirt over his head and away and Felicity's fingers stretched towards the reddish line that she remember a few weeks ago was a huge gash.

"The League has really powerful knowledge…" Felicity said, her digits moving around the scar. She felt Oliver shiver and looking up, saw his pupils dilate. She bitten her lip and this time it was her kissing him.

And they would have kept kissing, if it wasn't for a small detail…

"Hey, guys? Are you in there? Actually, are you in there  _with your clothes on_?" Roy yelled from the outside and Oliver growled against Felicity's lips.

"I will take that as a no… Well, you have five minutes, then we are going to barge into it!" Roy chuckled and Felicity wondered if the boy was using some kind of list with things he could do to embarrass them…

When Felicity opened the door, Roy smirked at her and Diggle shook his head with mirth.

"Sorry for interrupting, but we need to plan without him around…" Roy said, sitting in front of Oliver, who was still on the ground, but with his shirt already on.

Felicity sat on Oliver's right and Diggle on his left.

"According to Merlyn he will start training me in the League's ways in a few days. I think it's essential that, after that, I get on the streets again, let the word get around that the Arrow is back. It's important the League knows… And I want to talk to Thea soon, can you arrange a meeting, Roy?" Oliver asked and the younger man nodded.

"But how can you do that without Merlyn knowing?" Diggle enquired.

"I was thinking about that when you arrived… Roy could say he is the one that wants to talk with Thea, so, even if she talks with Merlyn it's Roy's name and not mine, and Felicity can get me right before the time of the meeting… Or we can wait for the first time the Arrow makes an appearance... Diggle, can you keep Merlyn under surveillance? Now that you no longer have to coordinate your schedules is easier for you to pull this out…" Oliver proposed.

"What if Merlyn has this place wired?" Roy asked and Oliver smirked and pointed at Felicity.

"I asked her the last time you were there to do a bit of her magic… We don't want a repeat of that last time…" Oliver said, remembering Dig and Roy walking all wet to find him and Felicity.

"Yeah, thanks a lot for that, Blondie! You shouldn't be so good at what you do… Seriously, you can even mess with ARGUS!" Roy replied playfully, but still in a bit of awe for Felicity's surveillance system that she implemented under Merlyn's request surpassing ARGUS' detector, ending with them in a freezing river.

"Yes, I entered the system and disabled all the audio recording. There are no cameras in the barn, but the ones around the house are taken care of, running on a loop. At least until we get out of here. I don't want that going for too long in case Merlyn finds out…" Felicity explained and John smiled proudly at her.

"And what happens after Thea finds out? She will confront Merlyn… or worse, she will go to Ra's..." Roy says.

"I will ask her not to…" Oliver says and the rest of his team looked doubtfully at him. Even Roy had a few wrinkles on his forehead. "After putting all the cards on the table I will ask for her help in the plan… I hope one of the things Merlyn taught her was how to be rational enough to listen to a plan that will save her life! Or, at least, not ruining it..."

"I think I will buy some cuffs…" Felicity said and Oliver rolled his eyes at her.

"Probably she knows how to get out of them…" he said and Felicity chuckled softly.

"Are you really sure?" Felicity asked and Oliver nodded.

"I told you, no more lies!"

The only thing the team hoped was the truth wouldn't do more damages.


	8. A siblings' tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Thea's conversation with no lies between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finally Oliver is going to meet Thea, hence the no Felicity's something chapter title. I hope you like it, especially because I have great thing for the younger Queen farther on the line.

 

* * *

They waited until Merlyn started training Oliver once again. During those long, hard hours, none of them could visit Oliver under Malcolm's orders. It was supposed to be a cut away from the outside world, immersing into the world of ancient warriors and hard won battles.

One of the times, their training expanded for more than 14 hours non-stop, until Oliver fell to the ground, passed out, completely vacant of energy and strength.

It was ruthless, cruel, cold. Nothing that Oliver did during those five years ever marked him physically as Malcolm's training did. And he could feel the man trying to mold his mind as well. His whispered commands, his veiled observations, his dark demeanor…

That made Oliver realize how easy it was for Thea to lie to him and keep her training with Merlyn under wraps. The man earned his League's name. His illusions, sometimes, made Oliver think twice, trying to remember why was it so wrong to be brutal and stony.

And in those moments, Oliver thanked for Felicity's presence in his life. His sister had no one like her and it showed now. He wouldn't say Felicity brought him to light, because he wouldn't put that kind of pressure on her. But she, sure as hell, made him  _want_ to step out of the darkness.

By the end of the second week of training, Oliver was able of stopping Merlyn's attacks and counter-attack in the same movement. He was learning the importance of distractions, be it on the environment or man-made like one of his smoke bombs.

Oliver felt his body adapting to a kind of fight he had never tried. Until now, he used his body as a weapon of massive destruction, he could climb and jump and run, but his body was still a huge block of hard, weighting muscle. With Merlyn's training he was learning to use every single muscle of his body to his own objectives, he was learning to feel the air between his movements, the way his fibers adapted to every change in his dynamics. It was like he was relearning about his own body.

When a month passed, Merlyn taught Oliver about some other League's secrets, how to treat badly injured limbs, how to use your own pain to strengthen other parts of his body, hos to keep deathly injuries from running their normal course.

Every day, Oliver's body was being oiled as a machine, every movement, every breath measurably taken, until Oliver's body moved as one with his mind.

When Felicity, Diggle and Roy visited him, they could see the changes with widening eyes. Oliver was quicker, much more than before, like his huge body weighted less than a pound, if his reflexes were amazing, now they were brilliant…

And sometimes, Oliver caught Felicity looking at him with a saddening expression that he couldn't understand.

* * *

After six weeks, Roy called Thea, telling her he needed to speak to her urgently. She said yes immediately and drove to his house, fearing what she might find.

The last time she was there, she left town with a father she barely knew that changed her into something she hardly recognized sometimes.

They had chosen the date to match with Oliver's first venture into the outside world. They had planned his return carefully. The Arrow had been absent these last months, being replaced by three people, two in black, a man and a woman, and one in red, a younger man. Now, it was time for the Arrow to return. For his name to be whispered one again by criminals. To the word be spread that Starling's guardian was once again on the battle field. They wanted the League to hear. They wanted Ra's to wonder if it was another person using Oliver's mask or if, somehow, his enemy was able of defeating death like he had done so many times before. They knew Ra's wouldn't act recklessly, he would stay put for a while, watching, hearing… He would send Nyssa to find out the truth and Oliver would meet her, showing that he was alive, that there's one more battle to be fought. And when Ra's appeared, Oliver and Merlyn would defy him to end their debts with the Demon's Head.

When Thea knocked on Roy's door, it opened under her knuckles and the young woman step inside the house, assessing her surroundings, looking around in search for something suspicious.

"Who are you?" she asked, feeling another presence in the house. She knew it wasn't Roy.

She turns around when she hears the footsteps. There's a man in one of the corners.

"Where is Roy? What did you do to him?" she asks, controlling the fear for the man she really loved for the first time since her father and brother disappeared.

"He is fine…" the man said and Thea saw the green leather.

**_It was the Arrow!_ **

She positioned herself in a fighting stance, that, when carefully executed could give her a way out.

"Thea!" the voice said and the woman realized she knew it. It was familiar like a childhood blanket.

Thea stepped back, her fingers frozen in mid-air.

The Arrow stepped into the light, while lowering his hood.

" _No…_ " Thea whispered, her heart heavy. The disappointment and the pain blooming in her chest. "You lied…" she said, her voice breaking, catching in her throat.

"I'm sorry…" Oliver said sadly. "But I'm ready to tell you everything. Everything that happened during those five years, everything that happened since I came back…" Oliver stated and Thea looked at him with hard eyes.

"How could I know they are not lies?" Thea asked and Oliver sighed.

"Because I'm going to tell you who killed Sara and you are going to believe me…" Oliver replied, hoping that small bait could make Thea curious enough to stay and listen.

"I don't care who killed Sara!" Thea yelled and Oliver stepped forward.

"Yes, you do!" Oliver said darkly, making Thea shiver. "Please, just sit and listen to me. From now on there are no lies between us."

Thea stood there for a few more minutes, in a silent staring contest, while Oliver sat in one of Roy's chairs, crossed his legs and beat rhythmically with his fingers on his knee.

Thea was seething, the rage almost enveloping her in a red aura, her spine tense and her hands fisting. And there was her brother, calmingly seating in front of her, like he had no care in the world, like he hadn't been missing for months now, like he hadn't lied to her for almost three years about running around in a green hood. She wanted to turn her back on him and never look at his face again, but then, a small voice in the back of her head whispered.

_You lied to him as well… You spend five months training with a father you barely knew, lying about where you were…_

Thea breathed deeply, recalling Merlyn's training in how to negotiate a situation. She had to keep calm and her head cool enough to realize what her brother was going to say and how that could affect her. She was now seeing this not as a family reunion, but as a business meeting.

Thea grabbed a chair and sat in front of her brother, mimicking his calm demeanor.

Oliver spoke calmly, telling Thea everything from the moment the accident, until he reached the island and everything that happened there during the two years he spent there. He could see how his words were affecting her, the way her lips thinned when he mentioned the torture and his first killing. Thea kept silence during the island part of the story, however, when Oliver told her he woke up in Hong Kong, the young woman jumped from her chair and started pacing in front of him.

"You left that place and you didn't came back home?" she asked and Oliver smiled sadly at her. If only she knew how darker his tale was going to be.

"I was a prisoner…" Oliver replied softly and Thea looked at him. "And my own stupidity almost cost Tommy's life there…" Thea looked surprised at him and Oliver explained his work with Amanda Waller and how he tried to contact the outside world, ending with Tommy travelling to Hong Kong and almost dying under his riffle's power.

Oliver talked for hours, explaining how his Russian friend helped after a long time in Hong Kong and how he entered their ranks after going through their own admittance protocols.

And how he returned to the island when he felt like the world was swallowing him in their dark corners, how he needed to get away from everything for a while, to feel ready to come back, to not kill the person that knocked him on the street or punch one of his family members when they sneaked on him.

Thea knew parts of the Vigilante, the Hood, the Arrow story and Oliver helped her fill in the gaps, telling her about the League of Assassins and Sara's life in there, explaining the importance of John Diggle and Felicity Smoak in his life, in his path into a better man. Thea didn't miss the caress on her brother's tongue when he said Felicity's name and wondered what was going on between them, especially after telling her his plan to defeat Slade.

And then, Oliver reached the moment he was dreading since he decided to come clean.

"You know that Sara died…" Oliver said and Thea nodded, not bothering to ask how he knew that. Apparently, there was very little her brother didn't know about secrets in the city. "Sara's lover, Nyssa, daughter of the leader of the League, Ra's al Ghul, came back to hunt her killer, but we couldn't find him… She was sure Malcolm did it, but he swore to me that Sara's blood was not on his hands and I believed in him…" Oliver confessed, his mask of calm finally slipping and Thea knew that that was the real reason for this talk.

"Malcolm killed Sara?" Thea replied and Oliver sighed.

"Some friends were able of getting some DNA markers from the arrows… They checked with my DNA…" Oliver replied, instead of answering her question.

"But you could never kill Sara…" Thea said.

"There's a plant that when correctly prepared into a beverage can make a person highly susceptible to others' orders while not recalling any of their actions…" Oliver informed and Thea felt dread envelope her body. Why was he being all confusing about this? Why couldn't he tell who killed Sara?

And then, her mind reached the conclusion. Oliver said he believed in Merlyn in his disappointed voice, he said there were DNA markers, he made sure to tell her about that plant…

"It was me…" Thea whispered, her mind working overload, making her feel dizzy.

 _No, it couldn't be, please, Oliver, say I didn't do that. Please, tell me I didn't kill Sara! Please, tell me I didn't kill the only person Sin had as family! Please, please, please!_  Thea thought, too shocked to say those things out loud, even if she wanted to shout them and beg her brother to say it was just a lie, a ruse…

But his sad eyes, his defeated demeanor told her otherwise.

Oliver didn't try to approach her, his voice now in a detached tone told her how he fought Ra's and was left to die, how Merlyn saved him and propositioned for them to fight together and kill the Demon's Head.

"Thea…" Oliver said, finally closing the distance between them and embracing her.

Keeping his distance while telling the end of the story was one of the hardest things to do, however, he knew if he felt her frame rocking with sobs against his, he wouldn't be able to keep going. He would stop and just console and grieve with her. Not only for Sara, or Sin, but for a lost part of her heart she would never be able to rediscover.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry…" Oliver whispered repeatedly, while Thea sobbed against his chest. He kissed her hair and hugged her fiercely.

He wanted to beg for her forgiveness. For not protecting her, for not being sure she was safe, for letting someone like Malcolm have control over her life, for her lost innocence…

Suddenly, Thea jumped from his embrace.

"I can't stay here… I have to get out…" she said, with crazy eyes jumping around and not fixing in anything.

"Thea…" Oliver whispered.

She looked at him and calmed a little.

"I'm sorry, but I can't stay in Starling for now… I have to go… I… I won't tell Merlyn you told me this… but…" and then she was bolting out of the door, leaving her brother behind once again.


	9. Felicity's face off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm demands to know what Oliver told Thea and Felicity might break something...

 

* * *

Felicity could only imagine how hard it was for Oliver to tell his sister the truth, the reason why, when he appeared in the foundry, unable of facing their empty home, she was still waiting for him, with black coffee at reaching distance.

But Oliver only wanted to hold her for the rest of the night, too emotionally spent to even think about drinking anything. She wondered, in a moment of weakness, in which stage of their non-relationship they were, but it was too tiring to think about that and now the only thing that mattered was the way Oliver was clinging to her.

Oliver sat against the cold wall, not caring about the freezing floor under his bottom and legs. The only thing he could worry now was keeping Felicity's body close enough to his and let her warm sip into his chest. They sat there for the rest of the night, Felicity in Oliver's lap, falling asleep in each other's embrace, no words spoken, until the door was opened at six a.m. by a very disgruntled Laurel. She had heard from Ted that the Arrow was back into town and was in search of answers, when she found the two blondes on the floor, blinking owlishly at her.

She gaped at Oliver, like she had seen a ghost and then shook her head. Seriously, why was she even surprised that people that were supposed to be dead kept popping out?

While Oliver tried to dissipate the fog brought by a head ache, Felicity told Laurel everything that happened during the former months. There was no longer a point in hiding the truth from her.

The only thing they kept out was Thea's part on Sara's murder. They knew it was wrong, but they couldn't imagine what Laurel would do with such an information and putting Thea in more danger was not in their wishing lists.

Laurel sat heavily on Felicity's chair and blinked at them, trying to wrap her mind around everything.

"So, you are working with Merlyn? And then what? After you fight Ra's al Ghul what happens?" Laurel asked and Oliver looked at Felicity, seeing the understanding in her eyes. He had to do it, there was no running away this time…

"Then he dies…" Oliver said simply and Laurel opened her mouth to reply but closed it again, choosing to not bring up his vow of not killing when the man she suspected was her sister's killer had his death sentence proclaimed by the Arrow.

When Laurel left the foundry to go to work, Oliver and Felicity stood there, watching her leave, until the silence reigned over the foundry once again.

Felicity's hand found Oliver's and squeezed his fingers.

"And now?" she asked, not looking at him.

"Now we wait, is Ra's' time to play…" Oliver replied.

* * *

That night, Oliver, Diggle and Roy left the foundry once again, patrolling the city, letting everyone know the Arrow was back. The word was already spreading since last night and Oliver smiled when the criminals started running at his appearance.

* * *

"Miss Smoak…" a voice said behind Felicity and she turned around to see Malcolm Merlyn looking at her. Felicity immediately muted her side of the coms, hoping none of her boys heard the man's words.

"How did you…?" she started asking, looking around to try and see how Merlyn was able of entering the foundry. The door was still locked and there was no way he could find another path.

"Miss Smoak, we all have our secrets and this foundry is no exception…" Merlyn replied with a smirk. "Now, tell me, why is not my daughter answering any of my calls? Right after Oliver got out for the first time? Rather coincidental, don't you think?" Merlyn said and his smirk turned into a cold homicidal one.

Felicity licked her lips and stood up, her hand moving behind her in search of any kind of weapon. The only thing she found was her computer board and grabbing it, she pulled it way from the table, ripping the wires and bringing it against her chest.

When Merlyn stepped forward she grabbed the board and brought it against his face. However, Merlyn's fists were faster and they broke it before it could do any harm.

"Miss Smoak, you have to stop try killing me. I already told you, I'm not here to hurt you…" he said and Felicity stepped back, her eyes in search of a way out.

Merlyn tsked, closing the distance between them. He grabbed her jaw and made Felicity look at him. His fingers were like iron against her skin, like he wanted to cut her face open and touch her bones, but she wouldn't make a sound. She wouldn't give him the pleasure of knowing how much he was hurting her. It was a battle of wills and Felicity's was stronger than anyone she had ever met before and she wasn't ready to lost for the first time.

"Tell me what Oliver said to Thea…" he asked and Felicity spit in his face, even if the movement made her jaw ache madly under his fingers.

"I was dying to do that!" she smiled and Merlyn rose his hand to strike her.

"Merlyn!" a voice roared from behind them and in the next instant Felicity was gaping at Diggle and Roy, while Oliver took Merlyn away from her.

"Thanks, guys…" she said, moving her jaw, like she hadn't been just seconds away from having a very powerful hand hitting her.

Roy and Diggle circled her.

"Are you okay?" Roy asked.

"What happened?" Diggle questioned, touching her quickly bruising jaw carefully.

"Just a chat…" she shrugged her shoulders and peaked over the men's shoulders to see Oliver holding Merlyn in a choke-hold.

"Oliver…" Felicity called. "I'm okay…" she said and with her eyes tried to calm him down enough so he could release Malcolm. She was seeing a dark shadow in his eyes, something that she hadn't seen for the last two years and she had to act quickly. They still needed Merlyn, at least, until Ra's al Ghul was no longer a threat.

Oliver released the man and Merlyn moved his neck uncomfortably.

"Bravo, I see my training has been doing miracles…" Merlyn smirked. "And just like Miss Smoak said, she is fine… no harm done…" he smiled again at Felicity and she looked back defiantly.

"But… my reason for being here still stands… What did you tell Thea?" he asked and Oliver scoffed at him.

"The truth… There are no more lies between us now…" Oliver said, walking towards his team. He stopped next to Felicity and checked her face where a bruise was forming in the form of Merlyn's fingers.

"So you told her about the Arrow… and about Sara's killer…" Merlyn replied. "Seriously, Oliver, sometimes I wonder how you are still alive with stupid decisions like those!"

Oliver scoffed at the man's words and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"What if she decides to go to Ra's al Ghul and confess? Are you that certain about her state of mind after learning she killed a friend unknowingly? Are you prepared to face the consequences of that? You might as well ruined the entire plan!" Merlyn replied, his voice angrier with every word. "I should have known you couldn't be trusted…"

"That's rich, coming from you!" Roy accused. "All you did was lie to Thea! If it wasn't for you none of this would be happening!"

"And besides, I trust her instincts… She is confused and sad and angry… And she needs some time alone… But, she isn't going to do anything, I know…" Oliver replied with a certainty Felicity would like to have as well. The problem was Thea was too innocent, she had never done anything like that, yes, she took drugs and drank, but those were ways of oblivion, to forget her own life, but taking someone's life, her brother almost ending up dead because of that, was an uncountable leap and Felicity feared what this would do to her psyche. For the first time since they found out Thea trained with Merlyn, she hoped he taught her how to control her conscience and take decisions based on logic and not guilt.

Merlyn looked at each one of them slowly.

"This plan is all you have that can save not only Thea's life, but yours as well. From the moment you helped someone that League deemed as guilty, everyone that hides him is an accomplice and so, deserves the same judgment… I could be mistaken, but I don't imagine your Miss Smoak or this kid that idolizes you winning against Ra's… Maybe if you see their blood being spilled, the instant before you really die, you will understand your mistake…" Merlyn said and turned his back on them.

"You are scared…" Diggle said suddenly and Merlyn stopped. "You wanted to have someone under your complete control, probably you tried to do that with Tommy, but you couldn't… And now, with Thea, she was your prodigal daughter, the one that when in danger called you, the one you trained to protect you and your legacy… And now she is out there, away from your clutches and doing whatever she wants. You lost the control you had over her and it scares you, because, when you die, no one will remember you, not the way you wanted… You will only be a crazy man, too blind by madness to be logical, a mass murderer that didn't accomplish anything else… And you love a legacy, Merlyn, even if it's under the form of a twenty years woman with combat training… There's still Merlyn blood running in someone's veins and it makes you proud! You want to be acknowledged by that, or else you would have stayed hidden… You are scared of dying alone and forgotten by everyone…" Diggle said and Roy looked shocked at his friend.

"I'm not scared of dying…" Merlyn scoffed and Felicity realized.

"No, you are terrified…" she whispered and the man laughed humorlessly at her.

"Miss Smoak, I walk hand in hand with death, I don't fear it, I feed it…" he replied with a cold smirk that made Felicity shiver.

"Merlyn…" Oliver called and the man looked at him with arched eyebrows. "The plan is still on… I still have to protect my family and you still have to try to do whatever you want with your life…" Oliver replied and Merlyn smirked.

"And here I was, thinking this traitorous act was as good as saying our partnership was over… How surprised I am…"

Merlyn nodded his head in acknowledgement of Oliver's words and then, without uttering another word, climbed the stairs and disappeared behind the metal door.

"That guy is so creepy…"

"We really should buy a new door… Security sucks…"

Felicity and Roy spoke at the same time and the woman scoffed at him.

"It's not my fault all those assassins know how to pick locks! In a super assassin way!" she replied and Roy chuckled at her. A freezing object suddenly found its place against her jaw and Felicity jumped in surprise, noticing Oliver's hand securing an ice pack against her skin with a cloth to keep her skin from burning with the cold.

"Thanks…" she replied and Oliver kissed her forehead in the process.

"If you ever turn off your com we will have words… Now I'm just too relieved we got here in time…" Oliver sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"He was not going to hurt me… He just wanted to know what we told Thea…" Felicity stated and Oliver nodded with angry eyes towards her jaw, his eyes once again lightening in that dangerous flame that made Felicity shiver with the memories of the old Oliver.

"Well, I might have broken a board against his hand…" Felicity sighed, looking at the pieces of her beloved board on the floor.

Roy grabbed some of the pieces and shook his head.

"It's dead, Barbie… You have to get a new one…" he said and even before Roy could finish his sentence, Felicity was already running towards one of the boxes in the back of the foundry.

When she turned she held in her hand a new board with pristine aspect.

"There are some perks to being the VP of a major company…" she said and then her eyes widened. "Thank god today is Friday, I can see what makeup is better at hiding this…" Felicity said, trying to see her reflection in one of the metal tables.

Oliver sighed and approached her, his hand touching her back softly, barely there, like a butterfly touch.

"You already had too much action for a day… Let's get you home…" he said and Felicity nodded, feeling his arm over her shoulders. Once again, she stopped herself from measuring that gesture in her own relationship-logic, Oliver needed to feel her close after seeing Merlyn acting like that and she would let him act according to his own mind. Now that she knew  _if_  was no longer a word applied to them, but  _when_ and  _soon_  were, Felicity was ready to give him space to work out his own demons and then, finally be with her.

 


	10. Felicity's mail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ra's al Ghul learns of Oliver's possible survival and returns to Starling.

 

* * *

Thea texted Oliver two days later, making him feel a bit of dejá vu. However, this time, she had no reason to lie and he trusted her to know that.

Thea didn't give any hint about where she was going, but, at least, Oliver knew she was okay and hadn't done something stupid. The text message he received placed her in New York, but he was sure she wouldn't stay there for long. She needed peace and open space, not a crowded city. He trusted her to come back when she felt ready, he was giving her that peace of mind and liberty after dumping a bunch of hard truths over her.

* * *

And, in the end, it took two more months until the League returned. They thought this Arrow was a copycat or someone from his team, but the evidence was too high, the power and the agility were too much like the real Arrow and Ra's al Ghul, for the first time, in his rather long life, wondered if he had made a mistake and Oliver Queen was really alive. He couldn't let one of his assassins go and make the inquiries, he had to make sure, it was his own fight, his killing strike and his foot that kicked Oliver from that mountain. He had to know if, for the first time in so long, someone survived.

When Ra's stepped in Starling City for the second time, it was no longer the cold winter of before. Spring was in full, almost summer and the city was vibrant with heat and energy that contrasted deeply with the black dressed men and women that arrived from Nanda Parbat.

"Father…" Nyssa called, entering the room where her father was pacing in front of a big window overlooking the city lights.

Ra's al Ghul turned to look at her, with a curious look on his eyes. It was not every day he had to make sure one of his enemies was alive after a trial by combat.

"Oliver Queen is alive." Nyssa stated with no doubt marring her words. "I saw him perusing the city, using his Arrow clothes." She explained and saw her father move a finger over his lower lip in deep thought.

"That's a very interesting information…" he said softly and Nyssa's brows rose. Noticing his daughter's surprise at his words, Ra's actually smiled. "It's been a while since I faced something like this… It's rather peculiar and interesting, I rather say… I wonder how he did it…"

"There are rumors about a dark archer joining the Arrow some nights…" Nyssa said, feeling the rage grow in her at the mere thought of Malcolm Merlyn and his guilt in her love's death. Her hands fisted on their own accord, action that wasn't missed by her father.

"You can't let your emotions rule you, my daughter…" he said softly. "So Al Sāḥir is helping Oliver Queen… How amusing…"

He turned once again to look at the city view and without facing his daughter he spoke again.

"Send a message to those men, let them know I want to speak with them… Such blatant tactics are for my knowledge obviously, so let's see what they want to say…"

Nyssa stood there for a few moments and then, without another word, left the room, intended on her mission.

What she didn't tell her father was that she had seen Oliver Queen in one other occasion, this time with his civilian clothes on and opening a car door to a blonde woman in a pretty green dress. Nyssa knew that her father was a strategist and he would use every opportunity to make his enemies suffer, even using an innocent perky blonde in his plans. Nyssa would never admit it, but she had a soft spot for Felicity Smoak, especially after Sara told her many adventures they had together, including, Felicity taking a bullet for Sara. For that, Nyssa would be in debt with the woman, keeping her safe from her father's wrath. But, she would that knowledge to transmit her father's message, using a different mean to tell the men The Demon's Head demanded their presence.

* * *

When Felicity arrived home after a tiring day of meetings with Heads of departments, she found one of her living room's walls with a strange object in it. For a second, she smiled at herself, remembering the time Oliver had arrowed a note to her wall expressing his appreciation of her work with uncountable vases of beautiful flowers. However, when she turned her lights on, she saw it was not a green arrow on her wall.

Felicity walked towards it, noticing the small piece of paper attached and grabbing both objects, she read the careful handwriting.

_The Arrow and Al Sāḥir must appear under The Demon's Head's presence tomorrow at 8 p.m._

Under the words were GPS coordinates.

Felicity opened her bag and took her tablet out, opening her maps app and inserting the coordinates. She breathed deeply when she realized it was an abandoned warehouse and not a mountain.

The VP of Palmer Technologies grabbed her phone and pressed the first number in her speed dial list.

"Oliver?" Felicity called when the call was answered.

"Hey…" he said softly and for a few moments she smiled at herself, until she remembered why she was calling.

"Hum… I received a rather peculiar mail today…" she said, trying to not worry him too much at first.

"What?" he asked and Felicity heard his movements, the clicking of keys and a door closing.

"Are you leaving your house to come here?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, now tell me what's going on!" he demanded and Felicity huffed.

"Okay, Mister Bossy! Weeeell… Ra's al Ghul is in town and he wants to meet you and someone I think it's Merlyn… It's a weird League name, but since is together with yours and is the only former League member we are currently working with I think it's a right guess…" Felicity said, putting the arrow over her couch and walking toward the kitchen in search of something to nibble while waiting for Oliver, since she knew he was already on his bike, and nothing she says would stop him from going to her.

"I will be there in five…" he growled, before disconnecting the call and Felicity sighed, while opening her fridge and taking out the leftovers from her chicken of last night.

"Salad Cesar it is!" she said, while taking out the veggies and keeping an eye on the clock.

When exactly five minutes passed, she heard a knock on her door and smiled. At least he wasn't kicking her door open…

When Felicity opened the door, Oliver entered with his eyes sending daggers towards her couch, where he could see the arrow.

"Did someone touch you?" Oliver asked, looking at her body, still dressed in her business dress.

"No. It was there when I arrived… It was kind of a dejá vu, actually, minus flowers this time…" Felicity smiled and Oliver rolled his eyes at her tentative of a joke. He hated knowing someone from the League entered her apartment and left no clue they were there, except for the arrow and note.

Oliver walked towards the couch after Felicity announced her plans to make dinner, and grabbed the note to read it. When he put it down after re-reading it at least five times, Felicity brought her tablet to his attention and the map in it.

"I will have to let Merlyn know…" Oliver said looking at his phone. He could call, but they needed to talk face to face. The plan was finally going to be put on practice and Oliver needed to be 100% sure of it.

"Are you going to fight with him tomorrow?" Felicity asked, her mood sobering immediately and her face paling at the prospect.

"Probably not… Ra's likes the formality of it… He gave a respite before, maybe he will do it again… However, if he doesn't, we need to be prepared!" Oliver said and Felicity nodded. "I'm going to talk with Merlyn now, but before I'm calling Roy so he can spend the night here…"

"What? Why? I don't need a bodyguard!" Felicity said and Oliver looked at her worriedly.

"It's the League we are talking about… Roy is not experienced and he can't handle them as I would like to, but at the least you have someone to keep you company and two pair of eyes are always better than one… Diggle should stay with Lyla and Sara, but I will call him too, he and Roy should go with us tomorrow, just in case…" Oliver bit his lower lip, thinking about all the possibilities for the next day.

"What about me?" Felicity asked and Oliver sighed.

"We already discussed this… We are keeping the plan we created… And so, you will stay in the foundry like previously accorded!" Oliver replied. He had lost count of how many times Felicity brought that same issue up.

Felicity closed her eyes, crossed her arms in front of her chest and sighed.

"I will prepare the coms, because you definitely will take them! I don't care if it's just a talk or if it's the final battle, but you are taking the coms with you!" Felicity reiterated her opinion on the matter with her index finger pocking Oliver's chest.

He put his hands over her shoulders and squeezed them, feeling her skin warm under his fingers.

"For you, I will do everything…" he said and Felicity felt her eyes shimmer with water. She sniffed, turned around and walked towards the kitchen.

"You better do, Queen, because I'm not going through that again…" she said, trying to lighten the mood, but feeling her heart heaving.

Oliver walked behind her and crossed his arms in front of her chest, pulling her back against his chest and feeling her quick heartbeat.

"I will, I promise…" he whispered, kissing her shoulder slowly and then the juncture of her neck and shoulder, leaving a path of fire with his lips.

Felicity's breathing quickened and she coughed to hide it.

"You better go, Oliver, you need to talk with Merlyn…" Felicity said and Oliver sighed, feeling his erratic heart calm down when he stepped away.

"See you tomorrow…" he said, kissing the crown of her head and then leaving the house.

Felicity waited exactly five seconds before started banging her head on the fridge.

 


	11. Felicity's final waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final battle between Ra's, Oliver and Malcolm.

 

* * *

Felicity felt like puking, while Oliver, John, Roy and Merlyn drove to the address left by Ra's. It was like all of her nightmares combined and more, a sudden loss of control, falling from a bridge, her hands dirtied with Oliver's blood. She probably made an anxious sound, because Oliver's voice sounded in her ear.

"Hey, are you alright?"

Felicity chuckled almost hysterically.

"You are the one going to face the man that tried to kill you with another man that tried to kill you even before and you are asking me if  _I am alright_?" Felicity replied and she heard Oliver sigh.

"You will be with us the entire time, it will be different from last time…" Oliver said.

"Yeah, we even brought your mini cameras with us, you can make a Bruce Lee kind of documentary with this…" Roy joined in, trying to calm her down.

Felicity smiled softly thankful at the boy's tries.

"We are here…" she heard John say and saw his hands moving away from the wheel.

She had made them, not only take the comlinks, but some cameras she developed, that could be attached to their clothes without hindering their movements with their only 1 centimeter size. She had her Applied Sciences Department to thank for it.

The men left the van and walked towards the warehouse, illuminated only by the moonlight. When they opened the door, they found uncountable candles lighting the place, which would be a matter of joke by Roy if it wasn't so creepy.

Oliver stepped in front of the group, looking around, in search of the man that requested his presence.

"Mr. Queen…" a voice said from the shadows and Roy jumped, his eyes flying towards it.

Ra's al Ghul walked out of the dark corner, letting the tremulous light illuminate his features.

"How unexpected to find you like this…  _alive_ … I have to say, you are stronger than I gave you credit for…" Ra's said, while none of the men stopped walking.

They met in the middle of the warehouse, Oliver and Merlyn side by side and Diggle and Roy a little back, to keep their vigil.

"Both of you have debts with me… Both of you escaped your deserved punishment… Not anymore…" Ra's said swiftly, and before Diggle and Roy could move a muscle, they felt black ropes surround their bodies that made them fall backwards, until they were sitting against pillars and tied to them. Diggle was swearing under his breath, trying to release himself from the ropes, while Roy was trying to kick himself upright.

"I thought our… conversation would go better without interruptions…" Ra's said, walking slowly towards the chest Oliver already knew to be filled with weapons. "Last time, I gave you a time to say goodbye to your loved ones and this time I suspect you already did it… So, let's finally have our battle, Arrow and Al Sāḥir…" Ra's stood there, waiting for their movements towards the chest.

"You are going to fight us at the same time?" Oliver asked, making sure that everything was going according to what they had planned.

"That's how you devised it, right?" Ra's asked. "Now, pick your weapons…"

Oliver and Merlyn walked towards the chest, eyeing the swords with precise eyes. Last time, Oliver had chosen his weapon carelessly he now knew and with Merlyn's counseling in his mind, Oliver knew what to do now.

When the three of them met once again in the middle of the place, Oliver rose his sword, feeling Merlyn move beside him.

And then they started…

* * *

Felicity could only see Ra's chest moving and his arms quicker than anything she had ever seen. Oliver and Merlyn were fighting back, being a better team than she ever wanted to believe. They protected each other, knowing their fragility, and keeping it under wraps. Merlyn's hands were quicker than Oliver's, his sword moving with a deathly swish, however, Ra's' body kept moving away from the blade like he could see what was going to happen in the future.

Felicity had muted her side of the comlinks, not wanting anything to distract Oliver, or else, she would have given herself away when she heard the door of the foundry being pulled open. She turned around expecting to see Laurel in her black leathers, gasping in surprise when she saw Thea descending the stairs, her shoulders slumped and all her body tenser than Felicity had ever seen.

"Thea?" Felicity called, agreeing with Roy that they definitely needed to revise their security protocols.

"Felicity…" Thea sighed, seeing her seating at her desk. "I'm looking for my brother, I went to the apartment but he wasn't there and he is not answering his phone for the last two hours…" Thea explained. "He gave me the codes for the door before I left... What is going on? Where is Oliver?" the young woman asked, noticing Felicity's countenance.

Thea's head peaked over Felicity's shoulder, noticing the images in her screen. In two of them it was obvious someone was fighting and in the other two, Thea recognized John Diggle and a farther way image of the fight in the first two.

"Ollie!" Thea gasped, approaching the screens, her fingers extended like she could touch him. "What is going on?" she asked again and then, her head moved quickly to face Felicity. "Is he fighting with that Ra's al Ghul? And… is that Merlyn? They are really fighting together?" Thea's mouth was hanging open with shock. "He is… Ollie, he is doing it for me…"

And then, Thea was closing the distance between her and Felicity, grabbing the woman's wrist. In a flash, Felicity's free arm moved around her, grabbing the gun Diggle had left beside her and pointing it at Thea.

"Let me go!" Felicity said, Sara's face flashing inside her mind. She knew Thea was not guilty, not really, but for a second Felicity wondered if maybe Malcolm caught her and sent her here to kill Felicity. Maybe he had a plan of his own.

However, the flash of anger and pain in Felicity's eyes made Thea jump back, releasing her immediately.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I didn't want to hurt you, Felicity…" Thea asked repeatedly, however, Felicity didn't lowered the gun, even if her heart screamed at her to let it go. This time, her cold logical side would be the ruler of her body.

"I won't tell you anything, Thea, and I think it would be better for you to leave." Felicity said, thanking her lucky stars for her voice not wavering.

Thea's eyes moved quickly around the foundry, catching snippets of the images on the screen, including the coordinates of the place in the right upper corner of the central screen. Thea tried to guard that into her mind, while apologizing profusely to Felicity. Thanks to her close work with Verdant's financials and her work while in Corto Maltese, Thea was very good at memorizing things, like numbers in a screen that might tell her where her brother is.

"I'm sorry… I'm going now…" Thea said, backing away, her hands risen in a peaceful gesture.

Felicity's brows furrowed at her quick departure. It was quicker than she thought. She was expecting the other woman to try to fight it out with tears and quivering lips, tugging at her emotional side and she just left like that?

Felicity turned around and her eyes fell on the screen.

"Frack!" she said, turning and running towards the stairs.

When Felicity reached the upper level, the only thing she heard was the sound of a car. She felt a shiver run down her spine, remembering the last time she had run after a Queen in similar conditions. She just hoped the outcome this time would be different or at least, Thea would forget part of the coordinates.

When she returned to the foundry, Felicity's eyes fell immediately over the men fighting. However, she noticed something worrisome in Oliver's movements. No matter what Merlyn taught him, his movements were getting slower with time. Oh, he was still an admirable adversary, but she had seen him training more than she could count and Felicity could now pick up the smallest differences between his reactions… and he was getting tired, not too much, but enough to decrease his reflex and she knew how that could end badly when facing an adversary like Ra's al Ghul…

Felicity looked at Diggle's and Roy's cameras, seeing how the older man was fixing his stare in one of the darker shadows. Felicity picked Nyssa's leather clothes between the shadows and rubbed her head, just wishing she could talk with the woman and explain everything, make her see that it was not what Sara would have wanted, that hurting and killing her friends would not bring her back… Oh, Felicity could understand the pain, the pain that made her feel like someone had cut her open and pulled all her organs out, letting her hollow, an emptiness that she couldn't fill no matter what… It was like every breath of air would knock her down. She had felt like that during the weeks she thought Oliver was dead, the unsaid words, the pushed down dreams, the unforgettable moments… And she could understand the desire for revenge! God knows what she wanted to do to Merlyn, how she wanted to make him suffer just an inch of what she was feeling… But she knew it wouldn't work like that, it wouldn't erase the emptiness… and she just wished she could talk with Nyssa… Felicity damned the time she decided to go to Central City, not because she didn't enjoy the trip, but she had wanted to talk with Nyssa, ask how she was, just be there… She knew it might sound ridiculous, Nyssa was an accomplished assassin that didn't need her as a psychologist, but just like she learned with Sara, that tough exterior might be hiding a bigger pain than anyone could ever imagine…

* * *

Diggle was trying to get rid of the ropes imprisoning him when a grunt sounded from behind him and someone pulled the ropes tighter. He looked at Roy, trying to see if the younger man was having more luck than him and he sighed when he saw Roy's red face with impatience, struggling to get free.

"Don't tire yourselves… you might need your strength later…" Nyssa advised in a detached tone and the two men looked at her.

"So, we are fried fish, right?" Roy asked and she looked at him.

"That analogy is idiotic…" she commented. "But, if you mean The Demon's Head will considerate what to do with someone that helped a condemned man, you are right…" she said, turning her head to face the fight once again.

They saw her lips move in a restless movement, a sign that something was changing. And they could see it too… Oliver and Merlyn, that minutes ago were moving in perfect synchrony, were starting to get behind, with each one having to cover the other… And Ra's, while being a bit out of breath, could still protect his body from the majority of the attacks.

When Ra's finally was able of taking Merlyn's sword, Oliver struggled to keep him in check, while Merlyn stepped back for a moment.

And that's when it happened.

Nyssa looked up a millisecond before and Diggle and Roy seeing her movement mimicked her.

The arrow was quick and deathly in its crusade.

The target after being shot once, looked up to see two other arrows move in quick succession. The three impaled themselves in his chest and abdomen in a dark dejá vu of a night months ago.

Oliver looked up, his mouth opening in a silent scream.

Ra's' feet moved in a quick sequence.

Merlyn's eyes flashed at the newcomer shadow.

Thea dropped from the roof, under the careful look of the men and women in the warehouse, her dark clothes complementing her recent actions. The rope that she held looked like a dead snake beside her and Roy swallowed seeing her cold determination.

When the man fell to his knees and blood whooshed from his mouth, her eyes, just a year ago so shiny, so trusting, so pure, were left cold and empty.

"Thea…" Oliver gasped, but his sister didn't look at him. Her eyes were elsewhere, in a man that lived beyond the normal human years, that acted more like a demon than a man.

"The debt is paid." Thea said simply.

Malcolm Merlyn's eyes closed for the last time and Thea Queen saw her biological father fall to his demise under her powerful attack.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say writing Thea's entrance is probably one of my favorite moments in the entire story. When I started writing I had all the intention of first Oliver and Merlyn killing Ra's and only then Thea killing Merlyn, but then I started writing Ra's and I thought a man that lived 67 years without being defeated wouldn't go down like that...
> 
> And I have to say, while writing Ra's in this chapter there was always Scar from Lion King on my mind, I don't know why, but I could see his scenes from the movie in my head...
> 
> I hope you liked and didn't think it too ooc that Thea could kill Merlyn. Remember, he was in the middle of a fight and the league members were more worried with keeping everything under control inside the warehouse than patrol the place, especially, because I think Ra's would take only Nyssa and another one or two members, since a lot of people knowing that someone survived his attack isn't that good for his reputation.


	12. Farewells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to say goodbye to your loved ones...

 

* * *

"And what makes you think that, girl?" Ra's asked and Thea looked at him with a calm she didn't know she possessed.

"Malcolm Merlyn was the culprit behind Sara Lance's murder. He was a fugitive from the League. Oliver didn't give him away out of pity for me… That pity was misplaced…" Thea said, feeling like her heart was going to jump from her chest, but keeping the same cool appearance.

"As we can clearly see…" Ra's replied, a dangerous smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

Oliver was eyeing his sister still in shock, like he couldn't believe what just happened, like it was something out of a horror movie. And it was, his worst nightmare was real: his sister killed someone without batting an eye at it.

Roy, behind them, chocked on Thea's name when someone pulled his ropes tighter.

"My brother wanted to save me from losing another family member, that's why he gave himself up, why he fought you. He didn't kill Sara, he never could do something like that..." Thea said, and Ra's started walking towards her. He circled her body, watching her face with an amused expression.

"It was you…" he said, observing her hands shaking. "But it wasn't you… I can see Al Sāḥir still likes his illusions… What did he used? Hypnosis?" Ra's asked and Thea knew there was no reason to lie, he would know it.

"He used Votura…" Thea explained simply and Ra's al Ghul nodded.

"Yes, he was rather fond of the power of persuasion, especially with mind control…" the warrior replied and then stopped suddenly in front of Thea.

"But, you killed a member of the League… You have to pay as well…"

"What?! No! She didn't know!" Oliver yelled and when he tried to run towards Ra's al Ghul, he felt two powerful hands grab his wrists and he looked back to see Nyssa imprisoning him. "THEA!" Oliver roared and other member of the League grabbed his arms.

Thea stood frozen in her place. She knew what might happen if she came here today, she knew she might be dead by the end of the night, but she couldn't let her brother take the blame once again. Today it would be Thea saving him and not the opposite. She had made her choice, she was ready to take responsibility.

"Thea Queen…" Ra's al Ghul said. "What do you chose? Death… or life?" he asked and Thea's brow rose unconsciously. "Do you chose to have your life taken from you now and here or do you want to accompany us and join The League of Assassins?"

Oliver looked at his sister with pain in his eyes. There was a dark shadow in her eyes, while she looked down, breathing deeply, thinking hard. And then, she looked up and faced him directly.

"I'm sorry, Ollie…" she whispered and then, she looked up at Ra's al Ghul. "I chose life." She knew if her brother saw her being killed in front of him he would go crazy, he would lose any kind of logical side and she couldn't let him die trying to avenge her.

"No, Thea…" Oliver begged and she smiled softly at him.

"It's my life… it's my choice…" she said and he gaped at her, remembering the words Felicity said to him years ago.

Ra's looked at Oliver seriously.

"You took the punishment for your sister. I respect that desire to protect your family, but don't think you can lie again to The Demon's Head. We part today, but remember Starling City will be watched by the League and if we deemed it necessary we will come back." Ra's stated and at the same time he turned around, Oliver, Diggle and Roy were freed from their captors.

"Young one, we leave in three hours. Be there…" Ra's said, giving Thea a handwritten note with an address. "Make your farewells…"

The League left the building with Merlyn's corpse, leaving the men behind feeling hollow and cold, especially Oliver, whose eyes couldn't leave his sister.

Thea was standing, unfazed, watching the distancing figure of Ra's al Ghul.

"Thea…" Oliver whispered, his hand touching her shoulder gently.

Thea turned to face him and smiled sadly.

"I couldn't let you die for me… Not again…" she said simply, her arms surrounding his gigantic frame, the tears running down her cheeks and wetting his green leather clothes. "Everything you ever did for me, every moment we spent together, every kind word, every eye-opener, everything, everything… I just wanted to thank you, for being the best brother I could ever ask for…" she sobbed against his chest, finally all the pose she had during the confrontation falling apart to show a trembling young woman, that was scared about her future, but nonetheless, was ready to accept it and make the best out of it.

The group heard running steps from outside the door through which the League left, and Oliver was already in defense pose to protect the hours he still had with his sister when a blonde woman appeared, gasping for breath.

"You are here, thank god!" Felicity wheezed.

As soon as Felicity saw Thea appear on the screen she had ran to the parking lot, looking around in search of the fastest vehicle that could take her there. Between her red Mini Cooper and Oliver's bike, she let her reckless side win and hitched a leg over the powerful machine, remembering the times during college when Cooper would take her on his bike. She had taken her com with her and heard everything that happened in the warehouse. So, when Oliver let his arms fall once again around his sister and Thea didn't stop him, Felicity knew that until their goodbye they wouldn't let go of each other.

"Felicity, Roy, maybe it's best if we catch a bit of fresh air, don't you think?" Diggle suggested and Roy and Felicity looked, first at him, and then at the two siblings, nodded and followed the bigger man outside.

"I always did everything to protect you, I kept all those secrets to keep you safe, and now, because of me, you are giving yourself away…" Oliver stated, his hands squeezing Thea's shoulder. There was no point in pretending he had a plan to escape with her, that Ra's would never find and kill them. Oliver was not that naïve…

"Ollie… let's not talk about regrets, okay?" Thea asked softly and looking at her brother's face, she smiled. "Do you remember when Tommy took us to this friend of a friend's pool, but the guy didn't know about it and so he called the police thinking we were robbers?" Thea laughed and Oliver, realizing what she was doing, played along.

"Yes, Tommy's plans were never that great and at least, that time, we could blame him and not get grounded…" Oliver chuckled, while Thea's voice floated through the air, recounting fond memories of their family, before the Gambit, before they knew that their family already had masks and secrets and were all doomed to make mistakes and regret them.

When two hours passed, Thea walked towards the warehouse's door. Outside, she could see Felicity, Roy and Diggle bundled up around the van's lights, walking around and talking softly between each other.

When they heard Thea's footsteps, they rose their heads and tried to keep an uplifted expression on their faces, failing miserably, but still trying. Thea extended her hand towards Roy and he held her fingers while she guided him to the pier.

Felicity and Diggle watched from afar the two young people talking, with Roy shaking his head to Thea's words, until he finally let his head fall and his shoulders sag under the finality of her words. Thea hugged him and kissed him on the lips one last time. When she walked towards Felicity and Diggle, Roy stood behind, kicking rocks and cleaning his face with swift movements.

Thea stopped in front of Felicity and regarded her with an attentive look.

"I'm sorry for before… I really didn't want to scare you or hurt you… You're too important for my brother and you can make him happy…really happy, something I never thought I could see… But you can, and please, do it… It's going to be rough for him and I don't want him falling into bad habits…" Thea begged and Felicity nodded, her saddening eyes watching a girl older beyond her years, that had so much to do and give and was now under the clutches of a group of assassins.

"And please…" Thea said, turning to Diggle. "Protect those two guys, okay? They are going to need some tough love and I know you are the perfect person for that…" she smiled at Diggle's chuckle.

Hugging both Felicity and Diggle, Thea turned her back on them and walked towards her bike that was parked beside Oliver's used by Felicity.

"By the way…" she said, turning one last time. "I would love for us to race one another…" she pointed her chin at the other bike and Felicity smiled.

"Come back and we will see about it…" Felicity replied and Thea saluted her in farewell.

When the bike roared to life, Oliver and Roy approached the rest of their team and the four of them stood in a line, watching the young woman drive way. Not towards a sunset, but maybe not towards a complete dark night either… They could only hope.

Oliver turned to Felicity to ask her about his bike when he saw her eyes. They had the same expression he caught on other few occasions when she looked at him during his training with Malcolm. And this time, it was directed to the place where they saw Thea disappear on the horizon. He wanted to ask about that, but sensing the movement of Roy and Diggle around him, Oliver stopped himself. If truth be told, he was too tired, too raw and too fragile for that conversation. He could still feel his sister's warm under his fingertips and that made his throat catch. He swallowed dry, closed his eyes and let the tears he had controlled so she wouldn't see him cry, finally fall.

Thea was gone.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I hurt myself doing this. I absolutely love Thea and I had never write something so sad for her, but here it is...


	13. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, my darlings, the last chapter...

 

Oliver woke to something tingling at his cheek. He was going to slap it away, when he heard a groan beside him and movement against his body. And, even before he opened his eyes, Oliver realized that the soft thing against his face was long blonde hair.

Opening his eyes, Oliver looked at his side to see Felicity sleeping deeply, her pale skin a contrast against his more tanned one. Oliver had to repress a smile at seeing the expansion of her skin, from shoulder to hip appearing in front of her eyes with almost no cover to hide from him, with only her underwear to keep him from seeing all of her.

It was a weird thing for Oliver to sleep beside a woman, feeling her body against his and not having sex with her, even if he really desired her in that way. But, arriving at her apartment after seeing Thea leave, there was a hollowness in his chest and it felt it would be disrespectful for Felicity if he was with her in that way when his head couldn't be 100% focused on her needs and wishes. He wanted their first time together to be memorable and doing it in a night both of them were physical and emotional spent would be the worst idea ever.

So, Oliver let Felicity slowly take off his green leathery clothes after he entered through her back door, her fingers searching for injuries he had, tapping them and making sure everything was disinfected.

And then, she was grabbing his hand and guiding him towards her bed. She made him lay down, only on his boxer briefs, while she took her clothes away and laid beside him only in her underwear. It struck Oliver as odd at how such a thing brought warm to his heart. Just feeling her skin against his, her worried eyes regarding him, her head over his shoulder… Oliver had difficulty breathing at how it felt familiar…

They didn't talk much during the rest of the night, they just held each other, speaking more with their caress than words could ever do. That was their thing, not big monologues about how they would gallantly protect each other forever or how they were meant to be, no, it was these moments, these quiet, peaceful moments when they would just stay there looking at each other and seeing more, so much more… until they fell asleep…

Oliver didn't want to act like a creep, but watching Felicity sleep was a dream come true and in true Felicity fashion it was mesmerizing. Her nose moved from time to time like a rabbit, her lips trembled like she was talking on her sleep and she was totally curved over herself, taking as little space as possible. The covers were kicked to her feet on her side and Oliver couldn't stop his lustier thoughts to go down there. Shaking his head, Oliver tried to stop the mental assault, trying to keep his own mind PG-13. And then Felicity turned and stretched, blinking slowly, and all Oliver's efforts flew through the window, leaving him dry mouthed. Felicity opened her eyes and smiled softly at him and Oliver felt, in those milliseconds, that everything was right in the world.

And then, he saw Felicity's eyes change and his high crashed down, the memories of last night drowning his mind… Thea's embrace, Roy's teary eyes, Diggle's hug, Felicity's kisses, his sister voice echoing in his dreams of their childhood together…

"How are you?" Felicity asked, not self-conscious about her or his lack of clothes in the slightest, which surprised him. Apparently, the loss of Thea and what the future held for her and them was making Felicity's normally bashful nature fly through the window.

Oliver thought about lying, saying everything was alright, but this was Felicity he was facing, someone that never lied to him, even when she knew the truth would hurt him. She was the person he trusted the most in his life and now that she was asking a meaningful question, he wouldn't hide from her.

"Hurting… I don't know… it's like I still believe Thea will appear at my door, talking quickly about a new cocktail for Verdant…" Oliver sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Is it my fault?" he asked suddenly and Felicity quickly shook her head.

"Of course not, you were trying to do the best you could. If anyone is to blame is Merlyn and he got his punishment… You can't beat yourself up for something that was out of your reach…" Felicity said, closing the distance between them and grabbing his hand.

Oliver watched their hands together and then his eyes traveled north, fixing in her blue orbs, noticing that recurrent expression he had identified already.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Oliver asked and Felicity stared at him, confused. "While I trained with Merlyn you had that same look and then when Thea left you looked at her like that too… Why?" Oliver asked, his free hand touching the dark shadows under her eyes, signal of her barely slept nights during the last few weeks.

Felicity swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I'm afraid…" she confessed.

"What? Felicity, Ra's left and Merlyn is dead, there's nothing to be afraid of… Or, is there something you are not telling me? Did something happen? Is someone after you?" Oliver quickly fired the questions and Felicity smiled at him to calm him down.

"No, I'm not afraid for me… It's you and Thea… You know, sometimes, when I couldn't fall asleep, I started envisioning your futures? I imagined Sara before all that happened popping out sometimes with Nyssa, Thea as a successful businesswoman, with clubs in different parts of the globe, Roy could maybe go to college or even start a security company with Dig that could have shared contracts with ARGUS, but without the killing part… Lyla would teach their baby how to defend herself and Dig would be this very protective dad... But for you, for a long time, I couldn't see anything else but the Arrow clothes, I couldn't imagine you in a nine to five job, weekends at home or the beach… And every time I saw you training, it was like you were slipping even more from the possibility of having another future. I saw your eyes, they lightened with the thrill of the fight, you were like this warrior from an ancient legend, an avenging angel with only one mission on Earth and it scared the hell out of me, because it felt like you had no choice on who you wanted to be, like you started and ended with The Arrow… And Thea, everything I imagined just disappeared… She no longer has the liberty to choose what she wants to do, she can't be the bubbly and hard-working girl everyone know she is…." Felicity sighed, rubbing her neck self-consciously. "Am I being an idiot?"

"Yes, you are…" Oliver said simply and the woman looked up to face his eyes.

"I don't know if you heard everything that happened after Merlyn died, but Thea said something that makes me not lose all hope… She said it was her life and her choice to make… Sound like someone we might know?" Oliver asked and Felicity smiled softly. "My sister suffered more than I ever wanted her to do, she was surrounded by lies and charades, but even then, she was the purest of us, I wanted the best for her and I would have given my life for her, to bring her happiness, but she chose her own path, and maybe, that path will bring her more accomplishments than another one and maybe, one day, she will return as a free woman… I know it might be foolish to hope for such a thing, but maybe, Ra's al Ghul can see the good in her heart and before it all disappears he will let her go… And in the meantime, I trust Nyssa to take care of her…" Oliver said. "And now, why I really think you are an idiot… Felicity, there's nothing I want more than have a normal, regular life. I want to have the boring job and the family vacations and the barbecues with friends, I want to enter a place and present you as my wife, I want to build a life with you… That fire you speak of, is only there because of you, because I want to be more for you, to protect you, to be there when you need me and even when you don't need me… I can't promise you when I will stop being the Arrow, there's still so much to do, but I can promise you that doing that work will no longer stop me from following my dreams, be it go on a date with my girlfriend or having a bunch of quick-talking kids… I can no longer let that part of me overshadow the rest… And I think, now that Starling City and Central City have so many heroes between the two of them, team work isn't so bad after all… Especially if it keeps me from having to run out in the middle of a date…"

Oliver's face was clear of any doubt, letting him in a peaceful state Felicity had never seen before. There was always something weighting him, shadowing his features, but not now… Now, he was all Oliver, her Oliver, with the mask and without the mask…

The man she knew he could be.

"I will stand beside you for as long as you fight out there and longer still…" Felicity vowed.

"Until the end?" Oliver asked, his face closing the distance between theirs.

"Until the very end." Felicity nodded, feeling his soft lips touch hers and the undercurrent of electricity travelling through her body. Her hands moving to touch his skin and his arms surrounding her frame.

And they would still stand together, matching gold bands in their left ring fingers, when, fifteen years later, with the sound of children laughing as the background, they opened the door to welcome Thea home, this time for good.

_The End_

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's really the end. I always wanted to end this story in a similar fashion and I wanted it to finish before Arrow came back, and I did it. I hope you enjoyed the ride as a I did and especially this last hopeful feeling with Thea's return, I love her too much to condemn her to a long life of killing.
> 
> 4 days, people, until Arrow comes back!


End file.
